Monday, October 15, 2012

Validation

I have no creative way to begin this post. It's 11:19pm and I've been up since 4:00am but I know I've heard the word 'write' so write I will.

This year is all about discovery with God. I thought it was about 'rediscovery' but I'm realizing with everything He shows me that what I'm discovering are things that I absolutely never knew, or never knew at the level He's taking me to now, so therefore it's just simply discovery. (excuse my random bunny-trails, fatigue betrays me)

This past week, I learned the meaning of a word in a way I had never thought of it before. That word, was validation. One of the definitions of Validations is to "Declare legal, or valid."

This is what I wrote during worship earlier this week:
"Validation:
You validate every part of me; reach in deep, hold me here, right to you. 
No part of me is left untouched, or unmoved. I've been searched and under this veil of Christ's blood, found worthy of Your love.
So where else would I need to turn, other than towards you? If my completion is here with You, then where else would I even be tempted to go?
Is there anywhere safer?
Is there anywhere greater?
No where else could I feel the way I do, when I'm here.
I'm completely understood.
Completely whole.
Completely, simply, me.

Cause I'm complete when I find myself in You. I'm sure of hope, sure of a future, full of goodness, completely sure that there's nothing that can hold me back. 
Why? 
Because you validate me. For I was created, even before I was conceived. And here in you, every part of me is for a purpose, and from a purpose. Why would I want anything to hold me back from being fully who I am in You? What sin is too big to overcome? What fear too hard to face? What doubt can remain?"

I discovered this week, more than ever, that God is the one that validates me. Now that I know this, it really doesn't matter what people do and say to me. It really doesn't matter what my circumstances are. It really doesn't make a difference if I have abundance, or nothing. Because my life is validated by the very one that created the foundations of the earth. I have permission to just be me! Nothing more, but nothing less. And in the discovery of the validation we have in God, there is freedom that is unheard of. We will be so free...we might actually scare some people.

And the same is for you. He is the one that validates all of who you are.

Goodnight!
-L-


Tuesday, October 2, 2012

2 Chords...

I have 128 other things I should be doing right now other than writing. But I just can't help myself tonight...I am so overwhelmed by His love.

I haven't been doing a very good job lately at fighting the feelings of being overwhelmed. I have many reasons to feel overwhelmed: working 2 jobs, going to school. Working 2 jobs while going to school. Learning after 3 months, once again, how to have roommates and little alone time (thanks, girls for the grace!) Being financially in a place where I am still in need of miracles to pay off my tuition. Being 29+ hours from the people I love the most and watching them continue to do life without me. Watching nieces and nephews growing up and knowing I am missing so much. Lots of reasons. Lots of excuses to be overrun by tiredness, fatigue, frustration, doubt and hopelessness. And yet tonight, I was overwhelmed by the simplicity He longs for when we come to Him. He loves when we're just simply there.

Tonight a song with 2 chords spoke to me in such a way, it will be very hard to explain it at all to you...but I must try.  As musicians and writers we are always trying to make things as good and perfected as we can possibly get them. Like, if we wrote a song every day, we would only want to present the song to the general population that we wrote on our very best day. We like things to be coherent, to flow well, and just to be pretty. We want to come off as eloquently as possible. We want to leave people in awe. We all write differently. I usually start with several lyrics and maybe a small tune. I get it flowing nicely and then I will interject different chords or structures to make it sound richer or fuller. Now, obviously I have never come even relatively close to a great song, otherwise you would have heard of me (actually not sure of that with our current system for music writing). And so I realize that with some of you what I say has little weight, but this is how it works for the most part. We work, and we rework tweaking whatever we can.

I have a song that I wrote about a year ago that drives me nuts. No matter how hard I try. No matter what I ask God, the stinking song will not go past 2 chords. The lyrics will not expound. The fullness stays the same. And yet, the emotional response is always the same. The song rocks me every. single. time. I can't help it. It's ridiculous. Every time I look for more, and no more comes.

And tonight, the simplicity, and the lyrics completely apprehended me from the business/stress/worry/ridiculousness that was my past few days. Fact is, when we come before God we could play one chord over and over and He would be so pleased that we turned towards Him. This isn't a lesson on perfectionism (though it could be), just a lesson in making sure we never overcomplicate it with Him. 2 chords and an open heart. That's all I needed tonight for my whole perspective on life to change. Just simply being with Him is what He longs for, what He yearns for...what He came and died on the cross for. It amazes me.

Tonight, as a writer I was grateful for a simple song, full of simple, honest truth that led me straight to His heart. And the invitation awaits for you. What worries and stresses are keeping you from drawing yourself into Him? Because I guarantee it's not worth it. He is simple to come to. "Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest."

"Don't let my words get in the way of what my heart longs to say. Don't let my mind complicate these thoughts that I want to say to you, Jesus. Oh, I love you more, I love you more, I love you more than words can say, Jesus."