Where are we Going Again?

This one is written for all of my friends, the ones that find themselves in seasons where they often find themselves asking the Lord, "So, where am I going again?" Perhaps it's just my personality and the way that I function, but I find it hard to give of myself, my time and my energy if I don't see the bigger picture and purpose. If I don't see how this is having a positive effect, or how it is taking me to where I want to get to at times it could be tempting to feel like I am doing nothing 'of value.'

But the fact is that we are not on the way to a perfected destination; to a perfect place, job, ministry, or personality. Rather we are on a journey towards a person, and His name is Jesus. He longs for us to be as close as possible to Him, with no space in between. I guarantee that if we live our lives with our pursuit being solely towards Him, we will live a life that is full. A life that is beautiful and accomplishes more than we ever could with our best energy in pursuit of 'all that he has for us.' Tell me, how can we know what he has for us, if we are not pursuing him relentlessly?

This way of thinking has revolutionized my life. I have always been a destination person. I felt, when I was in high school that my life would be so much better when I got done, graduated and moved on. I felt that when I was in college that once I was married that I would feel a sense of fulfillment, and deeper joy. I felt that once I was out of college, if I would find a job where I was actually using my skill set and getting paid well then I would know that I was on the right track. I felt like once I was in Redding my life would make so much more sense and I would know where I was going with every plan and purpose mapped out.

That's just silly, I know, but how many of us live like this? We ask little kids, 'what do you want to be when you grow up?' I love this because I am a huge fan of dreaming and dreamers, I have not met a bigger one. But I never, ever want to put any pursuit or any dream above the simple dream of pursuing Him at any cost, and the desire to be as close to Him as possible. He accomplished everything on the cross, and did so so that He could dwell within us. But it is still our choice daily to pursue Him in all that we do and to realize that as we do that, we are doing the most valuable thing that there is.

And as we pursue Him, we watch as our dreams come true. We watch as things click into alignment for us in ways we'd never expect and watch as we stop underestimating His power in us and through us. I wonder how many of us are in seasons that frustrate us simply because our focus is totally wrong?

I have decided that for the rest of my life, He is my ultimate pursuit. This has refocused me, humbled me, made me repent, and made me come alive in a completely new way. We are on a journey toward a person do not allow any dream or circumstance to overtake that awareness.

All else will fade away. He will remain.

L

The Great Motivator

I've heard people say that fear is a powerful motivation for change.

In the past few weeks I've been in a place where I've been made aware of how much I would love to see change both in my external and my internal world. And yet....this statement makes me laugh. For true and powerful change I cannot think of a worse motivator than fear. Fear of the lord, perhaps, but certainly not any other kind of fear.

Today, as I was processing through a bit I had a really deep revelation, one that has begun to wash over me like warm oil in the deepest parts of my heart, mind and emotions. I'm entering a season in which every single thing I'm facing is absolutely new. I am starting an internship, starting training for missions work, and I have no job with bills that pretty much I cannot pay....and yet, I realized I have no fear of what's to come.

Have you ever had crazy situations like that? Where you should be totally petrified, but yet you're not at all? Like not even an ounce of fear? For me, those are some of the most powerful moments that show me that not only is God real, but He's very near, and very kind. He is so good to us.

This made me think of a few verses that He's been pounding into me in this last season of life:
"Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!" (Psalm 27:14)
and again,
"Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord!" (Psalm 31:24)

Such a simple command and yet profound...at times, we have to LET our hearts take courage. If God feels the need to remind us to do this...it must mean the opposite is true. It isn't circumstances or even the forces of evil that cause us to fear...it's US allowing ourselves to fear. If we have to let our hearts take courage and be strong, we must be the ones that allow ourselves to fear and be afraid. I realize that there are powerful things that happen, but the choice is always still ours.

Could we have the strength and courage to stop worrying, to stop stressing over burdens that are not ours, over things that do not matter and just turn into Jesus? Could we just run to His refuge and actually believe that He really is enough? What would Christians talk about if we didn't pass worry and fear off as prayer points, caution or even wisdom?

But that's a whole other blog for another time...bringing this back into my journey of the day. I realized today that fear is a terrible motivator. I'd like to suggest that we readjust ourselves towards His kindness. If Romans is true and it's 'His kindness that is intended to lead us to repentance'...then surely this means that His kindness will cause us to make the best of decisions.

God's kindness is the best motivator. That's my statement today, the whole point of all of this blabbing. I hope, that for those of you who are in the midst of change, which is pretty much everyone I know, that you will find your purpose, your motivation, your courage within His kindness. If you are motivated by that, how can you choose wrong?

If you've been struggling with fear, or have fallen into a place where you have passed it off as 'normal' repeat and declare this prayer over yourself:

Father, I allow myself to feel freedom from any unnecessary load that I feel I need to bare. I extend grace, not only to others but to myself. Oh lord, keep me from passing any blame to anyone, even myself for my feelings. 

And oh lord, help me to treat myself with the kindness of heaven. The kindness that nourishes us, that makes us alive to your beauty and love. The kindness that heals even the deepest of hurts. The kindness that protects our already-secure identity that is found in your eyes. 

I choose your kindness, this day, as my motivation towards change and towards hope. I choose this day to allow my heart to take courage, knowing that you are able to take care of any mistakes I may make. 

Fear is but a shadow of what could be if you have the courage and strength to look beyond the vail. It is my prayer that we, as Christians, in this season of our lives will live in the fullness we can have for the sake of the lives we are meant to influence.

L

Awaiting Adventures

I am settling back into life here in very hot, sunny California! I have had an amazing summer, with the opportunity to spend a lot of time with my family, church family back in Iowa and many friends. It has been such a blessing and time of refreshing.

I started my Summer, as you know, training with a missions organization called World Indigenous Missions (WIM) out of New Braunfels, Tx. WIM’s mission is “Discipling the Nations to reach the world.” They are a small missions organization and really are a big family. While I am officially a WIM missionary I will continue to do my pre-field training for them throughout the year including taking the perspectives course online. When I am done with pre-field training I will look for a place to do my on-field training with an already established missionary. When that is done and I feel released to do so I will be off to language school.

I have a long-term goal of working in the Middle East. While I don’t know the exact timing of that, or what I will be doing, exactly, it is where my heart is and it is a place that is desperately in need of light. It is my belief that the Middle East’s best days are in front of her and I will do whatever I can to help fulfill the great commission in that region of the world.  As you look all over scriptures, you see that the Lord will be known and exalted all over the earth and I am thankful for the part that I get to play in that.

Myself and the 5 others that trained with WIM this year. They will serve in Africa, Palestine/Israel and Central America.

This year I will continue to help Jim and Brenda VanWinkle with their ministry Bespoken International; which works primarily in leadership training and ministry in Ireland as well as the fact that Brenda is an author. I help them with some office needs as well as ministering when we travel. Brenda and I are actually travelling to Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland 2 weeks from tomorrow! This is primarily why I wrote today. We will be in the Belfast September 4-8 attending and participating in a conference that is for all the Celtic Nations. (The Gathering of the Clans) We then will travel to the Republic September 8-15 to meet and minister with several groups of people and individuals.  Please keep us in your prayers as we prepare to go and as we travel. Also, please pray that all costs will be taken care of on this trip.

Upon return from Ireland I will be jumping straight into my 3^rd year at Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry. I will be interning this year with one of my pastors, Paul Manwaring. I don’t know what that will all entail yet but I know that God has good things in store. I have opportunities to travel with him, as well, this year and am praying about which trips to pursue.

This year is filled with opportunities and I am so thankful for everything that God has put in front of me. While I know I have a lot of hard choices to make, I am excited about the adventure. Thank you for being a part of my story and my life. God is up to so many good things in the world, and what an honor that we get to be a part.

In Him,

Lara

To give through WIM:

Make checks payable to:

World Indigenous Missions (or WIM)

PO Box 310627

New Braunfels, Tx 78131-0627

I am Missionary #276 (put in memo line or on a note with the check. DO NOT put my name on the check)

(I have envelopes available)

Or give online at:

www.worldim.com

There are several ways you can keep up with me this year as I adventure. 

-Email me:

larahochstetler@gmail.com

-Read my Blog:

http://thejourneyoftrust.blogspot.com

Twenty Six and Time for a New Level

If there is one thing that I know, it's that trust certainly is a journey. No matter how confident we become in our relationship with the Lord He is constantly drawing us deeper and further in. As I like to put it, He longs for there to be absolutely no space between us. He wants to be as close as possible in every aspect of our lives. We all know that He's done His part, that's why Jesus came and why He left us the most precious gift ever given in the Holy Spirit. But, we as humans are bombarded with things; choices, circumstance, illness, the news; all of which can distract us.. And if we are not in the practice of renewing our minds, consciously being aware of His presence in every moment and not allowing ourselves to get too busy we unfortunately allow distance to come in-between us and the most important relationship that we have. I'm certainly guilty of this.

In different seasons of our lives, trust will certainly look different and as we grow stronger in faith more is demanded of us. Not demanded in a harsh, dictator sort of way but because if our relationship is healthy, we will long to give God more and to not withhold anything from Him. We will want to make decisions with Him, as He would make them. That's the way love works, is it not? If you totally trust someone, aren't you willing, out of that love, to do anything to protect, value and strengthen that relationship? We don't grow in trust because we have to perform for His love, but rather, we grow in trust because no matter what we do, the Lord is constantly proven trustworthy. He is always proven faithful. Who wouldn't want to eliminate the space that exists with someone who is love Himself and has proven Himself over and over?

And yet, it's a journey. It's a constant choosing, often against every emotion in our body to say 'yes' and to trust against every circumstance, every emotion and often times the doubts of those closest to us. I want my life to sing a constant and consistent 'yes' to Him. I have for the past 3 years asked myself, "What can He do through someone who is simply willing?" I think I have yet to see most of the answer to that question, but I do know this: groundwork is being laid in my life that I know cannot be shifted easily by circumstances. No lack of money or resources can withhold me from trusting a most trustworthy Father. And despite any fear or doubt...I am certain that because I am pursuing Him, ground is constantly being taken for the kingdom.

The last year of my life has been a wild one. This day last year feels like a moment ago, a blink of time and yet as I process my 25th year I see that it has grown me in ways that I hadn't anticipated. I have done so much when the temptation all year I felt was the belief that I was doing so little. I have travelled more than a lot of people do in 5 years; ministering to people I never dreamed I could, I have completed my 2nd year of ministry school. I survived working 25-35 hours a week while doing school. I have joined a mission organization. I quit my job. I've made a lot of life decisions that should have been very hard, and yet...they really weren't. It's amazing how decisions that could rattle us don't any longer when we understand where our lives are, which is in the palm of His almighty, trustworthy, faithful hand.

But this is my journey, and your journey is going to look different. The Lord probably isn't asking you to quit your job, or give your life to minister to others, though He might be. He might be asking you to raise your family, to work and gain resources and favor. He might be asking you to take a risk and talk to your neighbors, to influence the school systems, to be faithful where you are. No matter where you are, He is asking you to trust Him in a deeper way, and in a deeper capacity. It's time we go to another level, all of us. Not because we have to, but because He's inviting us to an even greater place in relationship. As I look to start my 26th year of life I challenge you, and myself to pursue an even greater level of trust understanding that it will be another journey. A journey that will surely take us closer to His heart....

In every moment, let us resolve to trust Him...at times warring against the fear we feel and any doubt. Is He not faithful? Will He not do exceedingly more than we can ask or imagine? Is He not worthy of our trust? Let's look at life square on in full confidence that He is who He says He is. Let us pursue Him with the knowledge that we are completely loved, completely valued and completely believed in. Let's do this.

Let's show the world what people who trust the Lord unreservedly look like.

L

"Just" a song.

So I had posted this on July 23rd...or so I thought. My apologies for anyone who had tried to read it but couldn't. Now here it is! 


This song. 

I just can't stop singing it. I know it's not perfect. I know my voice is less than amazing and impressive. I know I use the same chord structure over and over. I know I have recording equipment that is...well, an ipad. But, goodness...it's just where I am. I can't stop singing it. I won't ever stop singing it.

I'm so glad that God makes beauty out of ugly. That He makes clean and pure out of dirt. He is so, ridiculously good to us. His grace really is sufficient for us. And His grace is completely scandelous. It makes me love Him more, it makes me want to live pure and holy...set apart unto Him. It gives me courage and hope to live in a way that may not make sense to anyone else...a life that I know pleases Him. 

In weeks where I feel like I've failed, or in times when I feel like my life isn't moving forward or like I have nothing to 'show' or 'prove' my worth, or my successes; I am reminded that Jesus is the one that gives me all of that. Kingdoms may come and go, but He never passes away. And as I told my church this week; I, in myself have absolutely nothing to offer. I cannot give you anything, but I have the one who has everything. I know the one who knows all things...I can offer you that-and that is the most beautiful gift anyone could offer. 

This song. I cannot stop singing it. And I pray I never do. No matter the wisdom I gain. No matter the awards. No matter the spotlight. No matter all of my accomplishments, or lack thereof:

I lean not on my own understanding, my life is in the hands of the maker of heaven.

I give it all to you God, trusting that you'll make something beautiful out of me.

I will climb this mountain with my hands wide open.

There's nothing I hold onto.

My heart is wide open to you.

https://soundcloud.com/unrestedrejoice/enough
(click this if you want to hear it)

Another Book Altogether.

Tomorrow I get on an airplane. For those of you that know me well, you know how excited I am. Anything that could be classified as 'out of the ordinary' or 'adventure' makes my heart sing. I've always joked about how I could live out of a suitcase because it means that I'm doing something that includes adventure and this Summer I get to do just that...though it doesn't necessarily look like 'adventure' on the outside, I'm gearing up for what doesn't just feel like a new chapter in my life, but rather, an entirely different book altogether.

Tomorrow I get on an airplane. First I fly to Texas to do what I feel like is perhaps the craziest thing I've ever done. No, I know Iowa mamas, flying to the Middle East is much crazier than flying to Texas. And yes, speaking to strangers, including Turkish Gipsies by the Mediteranean that want to read my palms is odd, but tomorrow I fly to Texas to begin training as a missionary. Even still mentioning it makes me get those nervous, sweaty palms you get...you know the ones I'm talking about? The ones you get as you step up to the free throw line at a critical point of a basketball game. Or the ones you get before you grab the microphone to speak. It's like pure anticipation and excitement mixed with terror and the fleeting thought of, 'what the heck am i doing?' 

And yet, as I prepare, as I've been packed already for 2 days, I can't help knowing in the deepest part of me that this is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing and that I am FINALLY beginning to do what I was made for. I am at my best when I am living for others. Most of my life I've felt like a round peg trying to find my slot, all of which I tried ended up being a little square. They were all similar; same color, same feel, but just not exactly the right fit. I don't apologize for taking this long to figure out what I was made for, each ministry I've been a part of, each life experience, each moment of school has been necessary in getting me here. God truely does waste absolutely nothing.

But here I am, getting ready to adventure and explore what it means and looks like to do missions as a vocation. I have been looking for something and someone to give my life to and for...I am so thankful and so grateful that I have finally found it. I know that we never 'arrive' at an ultimate platform, but I feel like I've been climbing a long time, and perhaps I'm due for a little respite. I know that I will spend the rest of my life becomming fully what I'm called to, but I know that it really begins here, with this step. My heart could burst and there's those sweaty palms again. 

I love the Middle East. I love her people and I love the potential there. I love how God loves that region and I am so outrageously honored that I would be a part of what He wants to do there in her future. I love Ireland and am thankful for the coninued role I get to have there partnered with some beautiful people to me-whatever that looks like. I won't be able to explain to you how I know that this is the call on my life, neither do I feel like I have to explain it anymore. I just know that these regions have so much promise and I want to give my life to being a part of it. I want to live and be Isaiah 42 and 49 to these people.

And as I ponder getting on a plane tomorrow I think of my parents, of all of the people who have made it possible for me to be where I am today, and the person I am today. I am overwhelmed with thankfulness, knowing that there are some victories that do not belong to me, but those who have laid down so much for me. Their sacrifices will ring into eternity and into the Middle East forever. This is just the beginning of becoming alive in a totally different way. The level of vulnerability I'm feeling right now, as I begin exploring this part of my heart that I've never explored before fully is astounding...hence the sweaty palms. But you know, the anticipation makes me thankful for every moment of preparing...makes me grateful for every experience I've had. And instead of dreading or being afraid, I know I will get on that plane with a smile, knowing that it's not only exactly where I'm supposed to be, but exactly where I want to be. 

Let the new book begin.

Just some practicals of my Summer/life:

I will be training with an organization called World Indigenous Missions for the next week. You can read more about them at: http://www.worldim.com 

After that I will fly to L.A. to spend some time with a dear friend there and then I will be flying back to Iowa to be with friends and family and working until the beginning of August. I will then be flying back to Redding to do my 3rd year Internship at Ministry school here. 

L

"For those in the Hallways"

"When one door closes, another one opens." I wonder how many times we've heard that saying. 

It's interesting how many times we as Christians find our selves in the hallway standing just outside of the door that has just shut in front of us. As we look up and down the hallway we can clearly see the door that has shut in front of us, but way on the other end of the hall, what seems like 5 light years away we see not a door, but a veil. We know in our hearts that there is a door behind that veil, a door with far more than the one we just came out of, but in our heads it makes no logical sense as to why we couldn't have stayed in the previous room with it's air conditioned climate and cushioned couches. While we know that our best days are in front of us, and while we know that it was clearly The Lord that drew us out of our comfort and out of what has been known in the past, there is a part of us that has a hard time trusting that there is more for us and there is an even larger part of us that doesn't want to go through the dreaded 'process,' to get to that 'more'. 

But what if we had a different application of the word hope? What if we, every day, worked hard to remind ourselves of the promises and of the words that The Lord spoke to us in secret that got us out here in the hallway to begin with? I was talking to a friend yesterday about hope, about how I don't want to just feel hope. I long to get to a place where hope dictates all that I do because if I am completely overwhelmed by the joyful anticipation that something good is going to happen, I will constantly be moving towards seeing every promise I've gotten from The Lord fulfilled, won't I? 

Let me give you an example: I start training in a few weeks with a missions organization. I am passionate about the nations coming to know the fulness and the glory of The Lord and The Lord has given me several promises about my role. I believe the biggest way I will minister overseas and just in my life in general is through family. Family is one of my biggest passions and I believe that is is the most profound and impactful way to show the world the kingdom and our Heavenly Father. If I just felt hope for my future I would be tempted to sit at home, waiting for God to come to me, waiting for Him to open all of the doors, and consequently, drag me down the hallway so I could get to the doors to begin with. While feeling hope is great it doesn't really get us to act upon the promises that God has given us. 

But I long to be overwhelmed by hope, making it my lifestyle...where I am so sure of what He's said to me and I live in such anticipation of it, that in spite of being single and certain circumstances that say otherwise I am always moving towards my promises-joyfully anticipating that God will break in in the process. My friend put it like this, "It's (hope) as if you are walking around every unknown corner, not in fear, but in full anticipation that The Lord has good surprises for you as you turn. What will it be? What will it mean for my life?" 

I am gloriously terrified of becoming a missionary and beginning this part of my life 'by myself.' But I know that God's promises for me are good, so I joyfully move towards the fulness of what He has for me, knowing that He has good just beyond the veil. What will it look like? What will it sound like, feel like in the new room? I have no idea. But I am obsessed with this hope, with this anticipation that while it will take a different level of faith and trust to come into the room, that every moment of the process will be worth it.

So here we are, in a hallway. Will we choose joy and anticipation? Or fear and regret? Will we look back at what has felt familiar and shy away, or run with glorious terror at our futures, unknown and unseen just beyond the veil? 

It is my prayer that we would see that He is totally, completely and utterly trustworthy. There is absolutely no shadow of turning in Him, no thought in His mind to betray us, tease us or set us up for failure. It is my prayer that in this season we would run towards the unknown, holding our promises in front of us so that we don't forget what He's said about us. It is my prayer that we look beyond the veil, to the next door he has placed in front of us. And it is my prayer that hope would overtake us, causing us to move towards the promises we have on our lives, for the sake of the nations.