Blog. Blog. Blog. Blog.
I really have no way to creatively start blogs. It's just not an art that comes easily for me. But, I am feeling the need to write, perhaps a bit randomly, but definitely straight from my heart.
This past week has been a battle for me. Since being in Redding God has been challenging me in this phrase a lot: "Lara, become who you are fully. No more than you are, but absolutely no less." I've come to realize, just as i think every human is designed to realize, that without Him I am nothing, but with Him, really there are no limits. Even with all of the victories I've walked through, with all of the breakthrough I've seen both internally and externally I still finding myself sabotaging myself. I have no problem with the "no more than you are" part (in the wrong way, thinking less of ourselves is SO amazingly easy to do!) but I have a really hard time with the "but absolutely no less."
Absolutely no less:
I'm pretty sure that God has created us each to be amazing. To shine, and be the light of the world. To carry Him well, and to love extravagantly. Why is it then, that so many Christians walk around thinking that it's somehow a really bad thing to really shine? To really carry the love of God in an extravagant way that attracts people to Him? Why is it that we grow up thinking that if we truly believe in ourselves that somehow it's some terrible sin? One of our pastors really put it in perspective for me this week. He said, "Confidence operates out of the phrase, 'What can I give?' while arrogance operates out of the phrase, 'what can I get?' As long as you have that in perspective, go for it!" This helped voice something for me...
I know that I carry a strength and resilience that is very unique and that not everyone can say they have. I can naturally do a lot for a 24 year old woman. But I also know that I am a little girl at heart. I love to wear pretty things, make up silly songs, giggle, hope for the impossible and dance and adventure through life. I have for so long, walked through life thinking that because I was one, I couldn't be the other. That if I was completely strong, that no one would like me because they would think I wouldn't need anything, that no guy would ever be gutsy enough to even attempt to break in to my life. But while it's true that I can do a lot on my own, I'm also fully aware that I love to be taken care of. I realized this week that I have full permission to be fully both. That just because I'm strong, doesn't mean that I'm not soft. And just because I'm soft, doesn't mean that I'm weak. My process of learning how to be 'absolutely no less than fully myself' has included figuring out that while I am fully a daughter, I am also fully aware of the strength the Lord has given me as a gift to carry with grace, intensity and extravagant love to the people of this world.
I don't know where I'm going with all of this except to say that I think it's time we started living up to our full potential. Not some strange, mustered confidence...but true reliance and confidence in the one who gave us the very things we have to offer the world. I just long for the day so much where the church realizes who she is, and what she has to offer the world. What is it that you have to give to the world? Why are you afraid to be fully who you are? I'd really encourage you to wrestle with that question. Because until you are at peace with who you are, I don't think you can fully give what God has given you to give. I don't believe that you'll truly be alive until you find joy in the life you've been given. I love who I am, I wouldn't ever want to be anyone else. And neither should you.
I know that for me, this week was life-changing. I'm so much more aware of who He's made me to be, and I know that He's given me permission to be all that I am in fullness with confidence. No more, but absolutely no less. And He's giving you permission too...will you take it?
Mother Theresa said it best: "We must never forget that we are bound toward perfection and should aim ceaselessly at it."
Blessings,
Lara
