Thursday, June 5, 2014

Another Book Altogether.

Tomorrow I get on an airplane. For those of you that know me well, you know how excited I am. Anything that could be classified as 'out of the ordinary' or 'adventure' makes my heart sing. I've always joked about how I could live out of a suitcase because it means that I'm doing something that includes adventure and this Summer I get to do just that...though it doesn't necessarily look like 'adventure' on the outside, I'm gearing up for what doesn't just feel like a new chapter in my life, but rather, an entirely different book altogether.

Tomorrow I get on an airplane. First I fly to Texas to do what I feel like is perhaps the craziest thing I've ever done. No, I know Iowa mamas, flying to the Middle East is much crazier than flying to Texas. And yes, speaking to strangers, including Turkish Gipsies by the Mediteranean that want to read my palms is odd, but tomorrow I fly to Texas to begin training as a missionary. Even still mentioning it makes me get those nervous, sweaty palms you get...you know the ones I'm talking about? The ones you get as you step up to the free throw line at a critical point of a basketball game. Or the ones you get before you grab the microphone to speak. It's like pure anticipation and excitement mixed with terror and the fleeting thought of, 'what the heck am i doing?' 

And yet, as I prepare, as I've been packed already for 2 days, I can't help knowing in the deepest part of me that this is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing and that I am FINALLY beginning to do what I was made for. I am at my best when I am living for others. Most of my life I've felt like a round peg trying to find my slot, all of which I tried ended up being a little square. They were all similar; same color, same feel, but just not exactly the right fit. I don't apologize for taking this long to figure out what I was made for, each ministry I've been a part of, each life experience, each moment of school has been necessary in getting me here. God truely does waste absolutely nothing.

But here I am, getting ready to adventure and explore what it means and looks like to do missions as a vocation. I have been looking for something and someone to give my life to and for...I am so thankful and so grateful that I have finally found it. I know that we never 'arrive' at an ultimate platform, but I feel like I've been climbing a long time, and perhaps I'm due for a little respite. I know that I will spend the rest of my life becomming fully what I'm called to, but I know that it really begins here, with this step. My heart could burst and there's those sweaty palms again. 

I love the Middle East. I love her people and I love the potential there. I love how God loves that region and I am so outrageously honored that I would be a part of what He wants to do there in her future. I love Ireland and am thankful for the coninued role I get to have there partnered with some beautiful people to me-whatever that looks like. I won't be able to explain to you how I know that this is the call on my life, neither do I feel like I have to explain it anymore. I just know that these regions have so much promise and I want to give my life to being a part of it. I want to live and be Isaiah 42 and 49 to these people.

And as I ponder getting on a plane tomorrow I think of my parents, of all of the people who have made it possible for me to be where I am today, and the person I am today. I am overwhelmed with thankfulness, knowing that there are some victories that do not belong to me, but those who have laid down so much for me. Their sacrifices will ring into eternity and into the Middle East forever. This is just the beginning of becoming alive in a totally different way. The level of vulnerability I'm feeling right now, as I begin exploring this part of my heart that I've never explored before fully is astounding...hence the sweaty palms. But you know, the anticipation makes me thankful for every moment of preparing...makes me grateful for every experience I've had. And instead of dreading or being afraid, I know I will get on that plane with a smile, knowing that it's not only exactly where I'm supposed to be, but exactly where I want to be. 

Let the new book begin.

Just some practicals of my Summer/life:
I will be training with an organization called World Indigenous Missions for the next week. You can read more about them at: http://www.worldim.com 
After that I will fly to L.A. to spend some time with a dear friend there and then I will be flying back to Iowa to be with friends and family and working until the beginning of August. I will then be flying back to Redding to do my 3rd year Internship at Ministry school here. 

L