2015. The New Year came and went seemingly unexciting. Generally before a New year I've gotten a new anticipation of new experiences and encounters that are to come so to crack into a new year without the expected hope and joy was a little concerning.
New rule #1: never, EVER leave your family on the very first day of the new year. Especially when you already do not look forward to your return 'home' and if you have no plans for when you are going to see said family next. It's not a good plan. It sends you into a tailspin of frustration and grumpiness that I am embarrassed to have been fighting the last week.
2015 has not necessarily greeted me on the most friendly of terms. I am absolutely in love with everything that I'm doing. I love my internship. I love my missions training. I love my friends. I love how beautiful and warm it is here. I love that I attend such a crazy church that enables me to meet and know people from all over the world. I love the fact that I am pursuing what I love and finally believe that God will provide enough for me to do it with all of my heart.
But there are a few things...feelings of being stuck. Feelings of frustration. Feelings of just needing a whole lot of new. Feelings of anger. Resentment. Feelings that have made me feel, at times, like this year was out to get my happiness. That, in combination with being dizzy and slightly nauseous this whole first week back have made me want to curl up in a ball a good majority of the week.
Going into a new year it's extremely common for me to have spent a day dreaming about what God can do. To set not expectations, but anticipations of His goodness. 4 days in I still hadn't even thought about it. I was walking around aimlessly and hoping things would change. But around day 4 after sitting down with a very good friend and processing both on paper and out loud I finally felt like I had gotten my head around the fact that it was a new year and that it was time to take it by force.
I felt ready to fight for all that I know that God has for me. I started writing declarations of things that I wanted to see. I started fighting because suddenly I became very aware that God wanted me to. This year has such promise but I feel like it's going to take a level of determination, grit and even aggressiveness that we have not had to tap into before. 2014 was a year of rest. 2015 is the year we come into our Promised Land. It's time to fight. It's time to stand against anything that does not line up with the word of God and all that blocks all that we have access to as children.
Please don't hear me saying that the time for 'rest' is over. Rest is vital to the life of a believer. But rest is, and never will be the lack of activity. When we truly know how to rest we are empowered and equipped to do more than we think is possible. It's in rest that we are (in the words of my mentor) re-created so that we can then live out all we are created to do.
So, what does He have for you in 2015? What is the Promised Land you are about to walk into? What do you need to say 'no' to so that you can say 'yes' to what He's saying? What are the distractions you need to walk away from so that you can walk into His fullness? What part of your life do you need to 'get aggressive' in so that you can see His fullness in? It's time to focus in and take 2015 to get all that He's placed in it for you.
Like me, I pray that He gives you declarations for the year that empower and equip you to receive the blessings 2015 is carrying for you and yours. I pray that you stand boldly and fight out of the deep awareness that you are His child and all you have access to. Some of you are going to need to change location. Change jobs. Walk away from things. I pray there's grace enough to say 'yes' knowing that you are walking into something different. Something greater. Something Kingdom.
2015 is mine. 2015 is yours. 2015 belongs to the Kingdom.
With Love,
Lara
This song has become my declaration as emotions have been trying to steal my hope and anticipation.
Diamonds
by Johnnyswim
In the wake of every heartache, in the depth of every fear
There were diamonds, diamonds
Waiting to break out of here.
Don’t you think I hear the whispers
Those subtle lies, those angry pleas
They're just demons, demons
Wishing they were free like me.
We’re the fire, from the sun
We’re the light when the day is done
We are the brave, the chosen ones
We’re the diamonds, diamonds
Rising above the dust.
Oh oh...rising above the dust
All your curses will surrender. Every damning word will kneel.
They’re just mountains, mountains who about to turn into fields.
We’re the fire, from the sun
We’re the light when the day is done
We are the brave, we’re the chosen ones
We’re the diamonds, diamonds
Rising above the dust.
Oh oh...rising out of the dust
You’ve taken down so many others
Oh but you’ll know my name when you see
That in these ashes I’m stronger still
You’ll learn to fear my pain, yeah you will.
You'll learn to feel my pain, yeah you will.
We’re the fire, from the sun
We’re the light when the day is done
We are the brave, we are the chosen ones
We’re the diamonds, diamonds
Rising above the dust.
Rising out of the dust.
