A quick, but huge testimony

I know, real original title, eh? I just realized that I had something SUPER substantial happen to me this past week but I have not shared it. For those of you that aren't familiar with the power of a testimony let me just do a quick run-down for ya. For those of you who are: feel free to skip ahead! :) When we release testimonies (what the Lord has done for us) it is 1)to give glory to God, and cause others to praise Him or see Him differently 2) it actually releases the same kind of breakthrough to those who are waiting for it 3)it's just great to celebrate how AMAZING our God is! It's in no way, shape, or form to bring attention to me, and I hope you know my heart in that.

-As all of my fellow BSSM students know, a lot of our payments were due this past week. I had opted out of doing a payment plan because I really did believe that God was going to provide my last bit of tuition. I had a substantial amount left but just felt like that was what I was supposed to do.

-Rewind 2 months. I've had seasons of time where God was totally providing for me. I was at Worship School, didn't have a job and yet always had enough for bills, housing, etc. About 2 months ago I was really struggling because during this season I'm working 2 jobs and it still feels like I'm not seeing any financial breakthrough. One night I had a huge emotional breakdown because I had totally made this financial 'thing' all my responsibility. I didn't understand how I could be working so hard and yet not see God partnering with any of my work. I love to give, and yet I felt like I had to constantly quiet that part of my heart because of the fear that would rise up concerning finances. I was frustrated, broken and didn't feel much hope, to be honest...all the while there was literally nothing I could do but trust God. I was already working as much as I could really mentally handle along with school. After some prayer from some amazing roommates and parents I decided that I obviously needed to change something in my mind. I've always been taught to live like you would if you had more than enough, but I had never actually done it.

I started a huge process of learning to enjoy Him in my work, and also how to trust. I started giving away large portions of my income in spite of every form of logic in my mind. I knew what I was hearing from Him to do, and I was trying desperately to not only be obedient, but to be obedient with joy. Now there's a challenge, that is, until you actually do it and you fall in love with His purposes for things, especially concerning finances.

-So, here I was living my life still not seeing any breakthrough but just having a different perspective on the matter. I don't even know how to type all of this because it still doesn't even feel real, except it is. It is just such a beautiful picture of what God does for us. I was approached by someone who not only wanted to give me money, but wanted to give me 5 TIMES the amount of my tuition that was left! Can someone say Praise the Lord? Goodness. Not only that, they gave me the money to use however I want to. They were very careful to remind me, 'Lara, you see. You hear. And I, and God, trust you to use this however you want and need to. He believes in you and knows you have the kingdom's purposes in mind.'

I keep trying to process all this means. And while, yes, this money does change my life, in a lot of ways it doesn't at all. The core values of giving, and trusting God, and obeying Him with joy all remain exactly the same. I know that God has to take us through certain seasons to teach us certain lessons, and I am SO grateful that I walked through the season I did this past year and a half when I had a 'lack.' What a beautiful picture of the fact that there is no lack in heaven. None whatsoever.

So, I release my testimony of provision over you. But more than that, I release the peace that I have felt the last 2 months over you. So that you can stand in a hard place and know exactly who your Father is. A good Father, with good things for you. May you be graced with the ability to stand in times of uncertainty and live in joy and generosity. I am so thankful that hope is so much stronger than fear.

I can't wait to hear about your breakthroughs!
Lara

This Place...

How in the world do I always end up in this place?
You know, this place where so much has happened and I could not possibly begin to explain all of it and do it justice at all. It doesn't help that I'm in a place where sometimes I literally feel like I'm living 3 lives all at the same time. Like I'm careening down rapids with no life raft, flat on my back staring into the sky and praying that I will just happen to float around all of the obstacles that I can't even see. The oddest thing about this season is that in any other circumstance, it would feel overwhelming. But I love it. Like, genuinely, deeply, I love it. I really never thought I could be working 2 jobs and going to school and be happy. I never really knew or understood that I had the capacity to. Sure, I knew bits of my strength, but never, ever the fullness of it. Not at this level anyways. If there's one thing I'm learning in this season, besides my capacity in Him. It's that it's all about His sweet, sweet presence. That's the only way I can at all explain why I haven't gone crazy, and in fact the opposite is happening. I love my life. Sure, I mess up. I slept through 4 alarms yesterday because I was so exhausted. But life is full, and life is really good. When our lives are constantly centered around seeking His presence, I am becoming more and more sure that we really can do anything.
At the beginning of this year I was moving across the country. I had a perceived idea of what Redding would include, but really I had no idea. I knew I had heard the Lord say to come, but didn't know a lot more. In May I was blessed with the opportunity to go to Ireland and pray through the country with some amazing people. In August I heard the Lord say to go to school. I promptly said no, but because I have committed my life to Him, He won that argument. So here I am, at a school I'd never thought I'd be at, living in California, working 2 jobs, all within 11 months. I found out 2 weeks ago, that in March I am heading to Lebanon. This is a HUGE dream come true for me. I have always had a heart for the middle east, specifically muslim women. But i had already kind of decided that I wouldn't probably make it to the middle east until my 30s. I knew it was in my heart, and a dream but seriously, if you would have told me all of this before I moved here, I might have laughed at you.

But that's just the thing, God really is good. He really is in a good mood. He really does want to see us accomplish our dreams WAY more than we do. And He really does believe in us. He is working out SO much more for us than we sometimes even allow Him to. If there's one thing I've set in my heart this past week it's been that I MUST stop underestimating what He can do in me, through me, and in the world. His intentions for us are pure. Does this mean that life is easy? Absolutely not. But the dreams of our heart, are out of His heart.

We are embarking on a week that is known for Thankfulness. And while I cannot possibly begin to tell you all that is going on around me and deep inside of me, one thing is for sure: I am so thankful for my life. All the crazy, chaotic, hopeful, daring aspect of it and I live for this one thing: to see God glorified through EVERY aspect of my life.

Love you all.

Validation

I have no creative way to begin this post. It's 11:19pm and I've been up since 4:00am but I know I've heard the word 'write' so write I will.

This year is all about discovery with God. I thought it was about 'rediscovery' but I'm realizing with everything He shows me that what I'm discovering are things that I absolutely never knew, or never knew at the level He's taking me to now, so therefore it's just simply discovery. (excuse my random bunny-trails, fatigue betrays me)

This past week, I learned the meaning of a word in a way I had never thought of it before. That word, was validation. One of the definitions of Validations is to "Declare legal, or valid."

This is what I wrote during worship earlier this week:
"Validation:
You validate every part of me; reach in deep, hold me here, right to you. 
No part of me is left untouched, or unmoved. I've been searched and under this veil of Christ's blood, found worthy of Your love.
So where else would I need to turn, other than towards you? If my completion is here with You, then where else would I even be tempted to go?
Is there anywhere safer?
Is there anywhere greater?
No where else could I feel the way I do, when I'm here.
I'm completely understood.
Completely whole.
Completely, simply, me.

Cause I'm complete when I find myself in You. I'm sure of hope, sure of a future, full of goodness, completely sure that there's nothing that can hold me back. 
Why? 
Because you validate me. For I was created, even before I was conceived. And here in you, every part of me is for a purpose, and from a purpose. Why would I want anything to hold me back from being fully who I am in You? What sin is too big to overcome? What fear too hard to face? What doubt can remain?"

I discovered this week, more than ever, that God is the one that validates me. Now that I know this, it really doesn't matter what people do and say to me. It really doesn't matter what my circumstances are. It really doesn't make a difference if I have abundance, or nothing. Because my life is validated by the very one that created the foundations of the earth. I have permission to just be me! Nothing more, but nothing less. And in the discovery of the validation we have in God, there is freedom that is unheard of. We will be so free...we might actually scare some people.

And the same is for you. He is the one that validates all of who you are.

Goodnight!
-L-

2 Chords...

I have 128 other things I should be doing right now other than writing. But I just can't help myself tonight...I am so overwhelmed by His love.

I haven't been doing a very good job lately at fighting the feelings of being overwhelmed. I have many reasons to feel overwhelmed: working 2 jobs, going to school. Working 2 jobs while going to school. Learning after 3 months, once again, how to have roommates and little alone time (thanks, girls for the grace!) Being financially in a place where I am still in need of miracles to pay off my tuition. Being 29+ hours from the people I love the most and watching them continue to do life without me. Watching nieces and nephews growing up and knowing I am missing so much. Lots of reasons. Lots of excuses to be overrun by tiredness, fatigue, frustration, doubt and hopelessness. And yet tonight, I was overwhelmed by the simplicity He longs for when we come to Him. He loves when we're just simply there.

Tonight a song with 2 chords spoke to me in such a way, it will be very hard to explain it at all to you...but I must try.  As musicians and writers we are always trying to make things as good and perfected as we can possibly get them. Like, if we wrote a song every day, we would only want to present the song to the general population that we wrote on our very best day. We like things to be coherent, to flow well, and just to be pretty. We want to come off as eloquently as possible. We want to leave people in awe. We all write differently. I usually start with several lyrics and maybe a small tune. I get it flowing nicely and then I will interject different chords or structures to make it sound richer or fuller. Now, obviously I have never come even relatively close to a great song, otherwise you would have heard of me (actually not sure of that with our current system for music writing). And so I realize that with some of you what I say has little weight, but this is how it works for the most part. We work, and we rework tweaking whatever we can.

I have a song that I wrote about a year ago that drives me nuts. No matter how hard I try. No matter what I ask God, the stinking song will not go past 2 chords. The lyrics will not expound. The fullness stays the same. And yet, the emotional response is always the same. The song rocks me every. single. time. I can't help it. It's ridiculous. Every time I look for more, and no more comes.

And tonight, the simplicity, and the lyrics completely apprehended me from the business/stress/worry/ridiculousness that was my past few days. Fact is, when we come before God we could play one chord over and over and He would be so pleased that we turned towards Him. This isn't a lesson on perfectionism (though it could be), just a lesson in making sure we never overcomplicate it with Him. 2 chords and an open heart. That's all I needed tonight for my whole perspective on life to change. Just simply being with Him is what He longs for, what He yearns for...what He came and died on the cross for. It amazes me.

Tonight, as a writer I was grateful for a simple song, full of simple, honest truth that led me straight to His heart. And the invitation awaits for you. What worries and stresses are keeping you from drawing yourself into Him? Because I guarantee it's not worth it. He is simple to come to. "Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest."

"Don't let my words get in the way of what my heart longs to say. Don't let my mind complicate these thoughts that I want to say to you, Jesus. Oh, I love you more, I love you more, I love you more than words can say, Jesus." 

Week One of BSSM.

Where do I even begin?
I am just so constantly amazed that God knows how much we need things, when it's not even on our radar and when we think we don't need something. Perhaps that means nothing to anyone else, but after a week like the one I just encountered I am positive that this one thing is true: "God's faithfulness knows no bounds and He will stop at nothing to show us."

I have in the last week:
1)Seen just how much I've needed BSSM. I've always loved God with my whole heart, but something is already coming alive in me that I didn't know was there. My love for Him is burning, and I think for the first time, in a long time, I can feel His love for me burning as well. As we learned this week, we can only love people as well as we love ourselves. I'm excited for a year where I can once again learn how to be a good daughter, able to receive His love fully and without sabotaging myself with doubt, worry and fear. Being around revivalists from all over the world is amazing! God has already used a few of them to show me just how important my role is, and each of their roles are in the Kingdom and in seeing revival touch every part of the world. Worship has been beyond incredible; somehow worship with 1,100 people of all nationalities and ages just gets you closer to the throne than you've ever been. We're only 3 days in, but I can already see just how much this school year is more than exactly what I've needed and longed for. It has jump-started my faith in ways I've longed for. Faith...I'll get to that later.

2)Been incredibly blessed by 2 amazing women that have walked into my life. With 2 jobs and school these 2 girls have allowed me to be goofy, tired, and sometimes just plain lazy and survive. They have made me coffee, food, and encouraged me in times that I needed it most. I know that with the crazy schedule I have they have enabled me to not just survive, but thrive. After 5 months of living by myself and having to organize and take care of everything it's been an adjustment, but an amazingly joyful one to be able to share life with these girls. They are healthy, steady, and in love with Jesus and I know that God will use them to challenge me into a deeper walk with Him. It's been 2 weeks and I love them both already!

3)By the amazing courage of people, this week I was able to cut my tuition down by $600! This only leaves $1400 left altogether on my tuition and only $400 more  due by the middle of October! YAY! This just so amazes and blesses me. If you are interested in giving in any way for this year, feel free to email me or check previous posts on how to do that.

4) Intaken SO much life-giving information. I seriously don't even know what to write here. I knew that by going to BSSM I would be learning  a lot through our teachers, the Holy Spirit, in worship, and in our revival groups but I seriously had no idea. I would say the theme for me the most this week or what stuck out the most was how much we talked about faith. Here are a few snippets for you to chew on to close this way-too-long yet not-long-enough-to-explain blog:

"Faith is spelled R-I-S-K in the kingdom."
"Faith comes from our capacity to hear His voice, that capacity comes from the word of God."
"Faith can't be drummed up by striving-it comes from the residue of being with the faithful one."
"Faith should be the most normal expression of the believer."
"For faith to function well we have to be more convinced of what we can't see, rather than what we can."
Other things:
"Reasoning without Christ at the center is demonic in nature."
"Freedom is the mark of Heaven's citizenship."
"Life flows from honor."
"God wants to so renew your mind, He can do your will."
"Don't be intimate with God just for ministry's sake, that's called prostitution. Just be with Him for loving sake."
"We must learn to live as one who simply adores God."
(all quotes from Bill Johnson and Kris V.)

That's just a little glimpse into my week and life. For all of those not quite sure about the School of Supernatural Ministry, feel free to ask questions. I am certain that this has been the greatest investment of my time and money thus far in my journey for so many reasons. I have loved every step of my journey and of my life so far, and each step has been significant and important, but if in just 3 days my mindsets can shift so much, and I can come alive like I have, I cannot wait to see where I'm at after 8 months of it.

Week one: complete.
L

Here we go!!

Deeep Breath.

Wow. What a wild ride. Never in my life have I known more deep within me that everything is about to change. Tomorrow is the first day of school and while I don't think that I'm nervous in the sense of 'will I fit in?' 'Will I make friends?' I am nervous because I know that what I have opened myself up to is going to change everything. In sooo many ways I'm beyond ready to start living the life I've always dreamed of. I've always longed to live in a way that risk is just my nature. To be so passionately sure of God's hand of love that I will jump knowing He will surely catch me. To envelope His love to those around me, and to walk in favor so that I may be a continual blessing to others body, soul and spirit.

One month ago, today was when I made the decision to attend the School of Ministry and I cannot believe that it is already here. In so many ways, the last month has been a complete and total dying to myself. I've always talked about that in concept, but now, I have seen a little taste of what it's been to walk through it. I almost see my life as a huge white board. For some reason, God has taken the eraser, scrubbed everything off and said, 'Let's see what we can do if you have this sort of mindset this year.' I know God, and I know that He wastes nothing, and values every single thing we walk through. But for me, this year the slate is clean. My heart keeps singing the question to me, "What can He do through one who is simply willing?" "What can He do through one who believes that He can do anything?" For some reason my heart dares to ask, "What could He do in me if I would really give Him a year to do whatever He would like to? None of my intentions, expectations, standards, or rules? How would I look if I simply took a year to learn how to love Him and love who He's made me? How transforming and shaping could this one surprise, crazy year be to my ministry for years and perhaps generations to come?"

Now, perhaps that seems a bit too large to some of you...but God told me to dream big this year and for my life, so that's what I will do. I refuse to put boundaries in my mind on what He can do this year. I refuse to miss a single thing because of a perception or past experiences. Every day I long to live and get the fullest reward. I will not hide behind my tiredness, my fear, my worry, my doubt, my 2 jobs, my introverted-ness, or anything else. I am a kid in a candy store this year, and God's 'flipping the bill.'

In the past month I have seen God do amazing things and it hasn't even started yet. Because of amazing people like yourselves I only have around $1100 left to raise for tuition...that's amazing! THANK YOU! And I will still be working my 2 jobs FOR NOW. I am believing the Lord for a creative way to make money so that hours will not be an issue and being too busy will not take anything away from school.

I have also been blessed with 2 of the most amazing roommates in the world! I truly believe that God has hand-picked each of us and I think this year will hold many amazing memories for each of us. I'm so looking forward to building relationships with these girls and for the joy that will be in our household. They have been amazingly gracious as the last few weeks I have been processing so much that it's pretty much just turned me just plain annoyingly goofy at moments. Anyways, I have been blessed with sweet, precious roommates and for that I am overly thankful.

As I stood in line today for over an hour getting registered I was amazed to think of how honored I am to be a part of this. At first, it was really easy for me to be a bit frustrated that God would ask me to go back to school. But now, I am overwhelmed at how lucky I am. To sit under teaching from people that have been walking with the Lord and have experienced miracles on a regular basis. To sit with peers from around the world, elders who have been in ministry for years and years, and younger passionate lovers is almost more than I can bare. I am outrageously humbled and once again crying at my computer...you'd think there'd be tear stains by now.

God is able to do what He'd like. But if you open up your heart to Him and commit to doing what He says, the ride is unbelievable. Am I still worried about finances? Sure. Am I still unsure of jobs and futures and other things? Absolutely. But seriously? Why would I stop, when I know who He is and His love? Why would I be 'safe' when I could have what He wants me to?

Day one of BSSM is tomorrow. And I can hardly wait.

Here we go!

My beautiful housemates acting a wee bit goofy at the lake!

For those of you facebook-less I got some new hair for a new season. ;)

Back to School?!

Let me begin this blog by saying that in case you didn't know before...God has a very crazy sense of humor. I had no idea when I moved to California 8 months ago that one of the reasons was because God wanted me to go back to a school for Ministry. I thought I was done. I know that I have so much to learn, and that He wanted to teach me more about who I am and what exactly He has for me, but I had no idea until about 3 weeks ago, that this was the next step in the process that is my life.

But...through a couple of crazy, only-God-can-do-that encounters, here I am. 2 weeks and 1 day from starting school, $3000 to raise plus living expenses. Impossible, yeah? Nah, this same crazy God that has told me to go to school to begin with? I am in this process of learning how to trust Him. (hence the name of this blog) And while the thought of raising money makes me feel nauseous at times, I am pretty settled on one thing that I am so thankful for: God is just a little bit bigger and more able than me.

I will say though, that I frequently have to remind myself to take deep breaths. This came so far out of left field that I'm pretty sure I got blind-sided. Why is it that some of the best things in life come when we're not looking for them? I'm so glad that God is not confined to our tiny paradigm boxes, that He operates with eternity in mind, and that He knows exactly what we need even when we don't think we 'need' it at all.

I am going back to school. What?! It doesn't even seem real yet. I'm just gonna throw this out there: I never really liked school. I LOVE to learn and study and dissect things. I love to ponder and muse on an odd mix of subjects. I love to teach other people things too. But school? At about the 5th grade I really started to dislike it. I have a very unique learning style. I do things in odd orders, I have to create while I learn in order to really, fully learn and in most school structures I could hardly keep up enough to take notes, let alone draw little pictures beside them so I would remember. In many ways I felt like school killed a little part of me. My innocent creativity and imagination, my unique style of learning seemed to fade in the structured time slots of class periods.

I'm in awe of God. He just knows what we need even when we cannot put words to it. Did I say that already? Yeah, well I'll say it again anyways. Since moving to this insane place called Redding, God has been removing so much in my heart that could separate me from Him and other people. In almost every way He could make me uncomfortable, He has. I'm away from my family, and almost every other form of 'safety' I've previously known. Everything that I loved before is being reworked, almost like He is remaking the very fabric that holds me and defines me.

One day last week I was thinking about everything that's happening at an insane pace. I was almost frustrated at the thought of really going back to school...in some ways it felt to me like a step backwards, like I should already 'know' everything I need to really start into ministry. And, with needing to raise funds and ask for money I was feeling like it was confirming to me that it was. (why do we always do this to ourselves! Maybe it's just me?) Feelings can be very deceiving.

But...then I found this. For 'some reason' before I moved here I had found this at home and while I left all other keepsakes back in iowa this one got stuck in my planner. Throughout my time here it's actually annoyed me, constantly falling out and in the way of where I need to write my plans (there's that sense of humor again, God!) At one point I actually used the paper as scrap paper, that's how much I thought of it.  But, on this day last week, the sweet simplicity brought tears to my eyes, and insane peace to my heart.

I wrote this in the 1st Grade...

As I read it I realized that while I know I want and am called to serve Him with my life in ministry, I'm not sure in what capacity and in what way. I want God to take me back to the simplicity of living like this. When I look at the scope of the Kingdom I really do need and want and am excited to go back to school. What a huge honor to get the most, and best training I can. And what a huge honor that God would take me back to school now, and here even when I didn't think I needed it. Without me even looking, I have again been blessed beyond measure.

I had to laugh because with 2 jobs and running a house on my own, the last season of my life can be summed up by the word Chaos. I was relieved to see that I  think God wants to give me this kind of a season. Simple truths that shape who I am, and my life. I don't know a whole lot, but I do know this:

I love Jesus because He's fun. Father God is my favorite because He loves me all the time. I like school because it's where I want to be. I need a miracle to make it a reality. I will sell my kidney, or even worse, my piano if I have to because God has asked me to go back to school and no sacrifice is too great. And...I still like to read books because I like to look at pictures.

Welp, there you have it. It's big news and hard to believe that just a little over a month after God birthed this decision, I will be sitting in class. But, like I said, it's going to take a huge miracle. I will be attending Bethel Supernatural School of Ministry. It is a training for leaders who want to see Revival all over the world. I have so much to learn about what my role is, and if you would like to invest in what God is doing in me and in my future, words would not express my thankfulness. I also value very highly your prayers. This is a huge transition to make in just over a month. Like I said, I have a lot of money to raise in a very short amount of time, like a week from today would be great. 

For more information on the school:

http://www.ibethel.org/bethel-school-of-supernatural-ministry

If you would like to make a donation towards my tuition:

http://www.ibssm.org  (click donate online, donate to my name, you can do this annonymously)

If you would like to donate to my living expenses this year, as I will only be able to work a limited amount of hours at my 2 jobs or if you have any questions at all you can email me: larahochstetler@gmail.com

What do I even say? Thank you SO much and God bless you abundantly! I'm looking forward to many testimonies in the future!

Blessings,

Lara

Do these glasses make me look smart? I should probably get them for school.

Happy Birthday to me!

Birthdays were always something that seemed to bring an odd sense of disappointment along with them. For some reason, having a birthday in the Summer meant that a little of the magic was lost in the bustle of getting ready to go back to school, having to be back to school, family vacations or just the madness that happens in the Summer months. I absolutely love my family, but growing up as the tag-a-long and learning now that I'm older that my love language is gifts was just a recipe for disaster. I've almost never hated a question more than, "What do you want for your birthday?" "What do you want to do for your birthday?" Guys and gals, let me just give you some hints...if your significant other has a true love language of gifts, you should not ask them this question. Be intuitive, figure it our yourselves! Be creative, and do something loving...you'll be golden if it actually means something significant. I mean, someone could give me a stick and if it has a meaning behind it, I would cherish that stick for the rest of my life! (just saying) So...needless to say, in a busy family of 6 I was lucky to get a cake, and for some reason true happiness has always eluded me on my 'special' day. 

I'll never forget one fateful day when I was in 5th grade. It was the first Summer that we started early to school, and our first or second day landed on my birthday. You can't blame mom, because the other kids were just getting back to school too. 2 to college, and one a senior in high school. I'll never forget my exchange with her the evening before. I had envied the other kids in school my whole life because they always got to bring treats to school on their birthdays. I had never had that glorious opportunity to do the same.  Sure, they had that dumb day where we would celebrate 'summer birthdays' but I never got to experience the great joy of having the spotlight and impressing my peers. I wanted to take something that would knock their socks off. I wanted to take ice cream drumsticks. 

Now, I was a  smart little girl...I knew the price of each box, I had made sure to check the last time we were at Aldis. I knew the price per drumstick and I knew exactly how many we would need, with 3 left over for my family. I was certain that this was a sure-fire plan in getting exactly what I wanted. Except when mom said no. I was devastated to say the least. I was so mad at her. How dare she deny me my right to have the ONE thing I wanted for me birthday? Well, the next morning came and I was NOT going to be denied. I ran around the house, gathering as much spare change as I could find. Checking all of the usual spots that dad would empty his pockets when he got home from work. I ran to the country store, feeling completely dejected but needing a plan. I left the house without saying bye to mom, by the way. I got to school and not as proudly as I would have liked, went up to my teacher to tell her I had brought a 'treat.' In vain, we enjoyed our Tootsie Pops, me knowing I was a complete and total failure to the rest of the class.

It wasn't until that afternoon that the embarrassment truly set in. I have always had an enormous guilt conscious and I was feeling pretty sick by lunch time. Not only that but my mom, while I secretly stole money from around the house and bought tootsie pops in shame...went to Washington. Do you want to guess what she bought for me and my classmates? Ice cream drumsticks. But, we had already had my treat...not only had I stolen something, I now completely underhanded the outrageously kind thing that my mama had done for me. The ice cream didn't taste the same that year. Though, the 6 boxes did last us a long time at home.

This is just one of the many silly experiences I've had on my birthday. For some reason they were just never as special as I thought they should be in my head.

This year I wanted to be proactive in changing some of that. Around January, I found a post on pinterest that I kind of morphed into my own. In the post the family had a jar that they would write their favorite memories on from the week. Then on new years eve, they would get them out and read them, reliving the joys, laughing, and telling even more stories that came to mind. 

When I saw it, I couldn't help but wonder, "How much do I forget throughout the year that God has done in my life, simply because I don't write it down somewhere?" So I set out on a journey. Every time I remembered, I would write down the good things that God had done in me, or in my family. i would write of things He would speak to me or do for me. Verses that spoke life to me, testimonies of His goodness or healing, anything of significance would get written down and go in the jar. About 2 weeks in I found myself being more thankful for all of the little things that I had seemed to forget about in the past. 

I decided, that since in the past my birthdays haven't been 'all that amazing', I would read my testimonies on that day, focusing only on the good He had done and not my 'lack.'

I was really amazed at what I found. These were only from since January! I can't imagine how full it will be next year! Especially with how it's starting out. Good grief. I laughed, I cried, I marveled at what a mighty God we serve, and how good He is to His children.

I forgot to count them, but I wouldn't be surprised if there was one for every day. His goodness follows us everywhere. I never want to forget about that again.

When I started this, I knew there would be a second component. I never knew what that was, but I felt like I was supposed to burn these testimonies for a few different reasons.

1)Whenever you seal something, you use heat or fire. When they used the old wax seals on an envelope they would melt the wax before applying the seal. I felt like God was asking me to seal in all the good things that had happened in my 23rd year of life.

I was pretty amazed at how big some of the flames could get from one piece of paper. It reminded me that one testimony can keep us burning for a long time. 2)I felt like I was to burn these testimonies because they are now in the past. While God always wants us to remember His goodness, He does want to give me new testimonies for my 24th year.

We cannot afford to limit Him to the way He's 'always' done things in the past. He's God, and He wants to build in us line upon line, precept upon precept, taking us from glory to glory. If we only expect Him to show up the same way He's always shown up, we will miss what He wants to do now. Lastly, I spent some time in prayer and let the ashes blow away. This is a new year to trust Him. A new year to let Him be Lord and Savior of my life.

I realized as I'm typing this, that I think this is one of my first Birthdays away from 'home.' While there could have been a lot of temptation to feel alone and sad, the testimonies of my past allowed me to dream and believe for a future. This was something that I desperately needed....Happy Birthday to Me!

This 24th year has already set itself up to be a doosey. More on that to come. Who knows where it will take me. One thing's for sure....I'm gonna need a bigger jar.

Enough

Blogging? What's that? As much as I'd love to apologize for the lack of writing on my end, I think that if anything else was added to my plate right now there would be one crazy Lara running around Redding, as if I wasn't crazy enough already. ;)

I hardly ever do this, but I wanted to share a song that I literally just finished about 15 minutes ago. It's stiff, needs a lot of work, and is far from perfect but it is just so much what I sense a lot of people, especially my closest friends are walking through right now.

This week was a hard one for me, I won't lie or try to sugar coat it. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't figure out how to pull myself up. Sure, I was homesick, and sure I'm not necessarily loving my jobs at the moment but really nothing 'bad' happened at all that really should have triggered the intense battle that I've walked through in the last 5 days. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that internally I was dealing and contemplating with a question that I think every follower of Christ walks through in different levels throughout their lives-"Is He enough?" Now. I'm not talking, is God enough when things are good, but really, truly, deeply, is God enough for me to live the life I'm living? Is He able to meet not just my physical needs but my emotional and mental needs as well? When I have literally no one to turn to, when there seems to be no point to what I'm doing, is He sufficient? Is He worth everything?

I feel like the deeper our walk goes with Him, the more we will ask this. Every level deeper we go in our relationship, the more serious His kingdom is for us the more we will have to know...Is He enough? Is He worth it? Is He able?

While I haven't settled it completely in my heart, the best I can do is lean into Him, trusting Him with control and laying down my independence at the foot of the cross where Jesus paid dearly with His life as a shining beacon that yes, this God that we serve, He is sufficient for all our needs and He will pay any price for us to know it.

To everyone right now that is going through this same battle I pray and trust that Papa God will show and prove Himself strong for you. In the meanwhile, I pray that you will trust that He is enough. I am thankful that we serve a God that wants to be a part of our mess, that isn't afraid of our questions, and who longs for realistic relationship even when that means we have doubts and we struggle. Hold on, for like me, I believe daylight is coming for you as well. I'm in this for the long run, even when my feelings betray me, I will trust that He is enough.

This song is for you: Enough-Lara Hochstetler August 3, 2012
Will you be enough for me
Will you be my shelter so I can hide
Will you be enough for me
Will you be my comfort when I just can't understand
Will you be enough

Will you be enough for me
Will you hold me close when I can't stand on my own
Will you be enough for me
When my faith is weak and I can hardly hold on
Hold On

You are my hope when my courage has failed
You are my refuge through the storms
You are my joy when all colors have faded away
And through it all I'm amazed to find You're enough

Will you be enough for me
When my days are at their end
Will you be enough for me
When I breath my last, and we walk hand in hand

You are enough
You are enough for me dedicated to the late Lynn Swee

'My Life is Christ' An update after 5 months in Redding

It's hard to process a life that is so full. Full of joy, full of pain, full of life, full of confusion. Full of love, hope and peace and full of chaos, a frantic pace,  and unanswered dreams. God's faithfulness in this season of my life in Redding leaves me breathless every time I think about it. When I look at who I was 5 months ago, or even a few days ago for that matter, I hardly know who I am any longer. The joy that I feel in seeing His perfect strategy of removing me from everything I've once known, is something that would leave anyone breathless. It's like He's had to remove me from all of the safety, or what I thought was safety,  to show me strengths that lie within. Strengths I would have never known I possessed if I wouldn't have moved here.

Redding has been a challenge, to say the least. I never would have dreamt when I moved here that I'd have the life I have now. And yet, I never would have dreamt that I could be doing the things I'm doing, living the life I'm living and be fully, completely happy. I've learned that if I'm trusted with something huge, like a house, I will work and fix it up to the best of my abilities. I've learned that when God's favor is on your life, you have crazy things happen to you-like an offer for a second job you'd never thought you'd enjoy. Also, that God's favor is never for yourself, always to give away which I enjoy giving to my beautiful ladies at my new job. I've learned that if you take everything away from me and drop me in a foreign place, I would be ok there. I've learned that in the middle of chaos, if you make yourself be quiet and listen to God, He will always be saying, 'It's going to be ok.' I've learned that if you're ever in need, God is the best Father, Friend, Provider, Brother, listener, and lover you could ever have or dream of wanting. I've learned that His dreams and ideas for my life are way bigger than my pea-brained mind can ever comprehend. I've learned that when faced with the choice to save-face and act like someone you're not in order to gain access or approval from people, you should always just be yourself-the issue is theirs, not yours.

I've also learned that I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. I see God's strategy singing over almost every area of my life except those things that I've held dear as my dreams in the past. Those things, still, are on hold. I thought when I moved to Redding I would have amazingly divine connections, see crazy things (which I have), and know where my life is heading. And in all honesty, the completely opposite has happened. God has taken everything and pretty much put it upside-down. Am I a musician? Will I ever write books? Will I travel the world, seeing Him show me unspeakable things, all for His glory? Will I ever get to camp again, and speak/encourage and equip youth to live and fulfill their destinies? Will I ever be able to host and encourage dreamers? Will I get the immensely HUGE honor of leading worship with God's precious body ever again? I had a thought yesterday that I've thought about before, but I don't know if I've ever really, fully walked through before like I am right now:
"If you're not willing to lay down something for the Kingdom's sake, then you're not going to carry it correctly and therefore, cannot be trusted with it". Sometimes God has to make sure that He knows that we have all of the things we need to carry something in and with character before He can release us into the fullness of what He has for us. It's like our pastor's always talk about out here, 'He will never give us something that will destroy, and ruin us. It's in His mercy that some times, He withholds certain blessings. Now, I'm not talking healing or anything like that, of course, but there are things that, if given pre-maturely will hurt us. I have no idea if that's what's going on in my life, neither do I know if what I've dreamed of before was in the right heart and if it was from God.
One thing I do know: It is my honor to serve Him in whatever capacity He gives me. I told Him long ago that I longed to give Him my WHOLE life, every moment, and every fiber. It is in this season, that I am showing Him. I find joy, where there previously was none. I find strength where my strength used to run out. I find peace even though I am battling far bigger/harder/greater things than I ever have before. And I find myself encouraging so many more than (embarrassingly enough) I ever had when I was 'in ministry.' I find myself being overwhelmed by His goodness in moments that I look at my checkbook and future and have NO idea where my life is going to go next. But most of all, for perhaps really the first time in my whole life, I enjoy being ME. Not because I think I'm better, stronger, or greater than anyone else...but because I am truly beginning to understand Papa God's love for me.
It is from here, from this love, that I long to change the world, that I long to mother nations, and see youth set free and released into their destinies. It is from this place that I long to release hope into the 4 corners, and see every tongue confess that Jesus is Lord.  It is from love that I long to write-down heaven and release it like honey into a hurting world. It is from this place that I know one day, sickness, darkness, and demons will flee because they can't stand the sight of Jesus in me. And it is from this place, this understanding of His love, that I am able to be here, be working 2 jobs that previously would have meant less than nothing to me, re-doing a house, trying (feebly) to help in ministry, and be doing it almost completely alone-with a joy that I have never possessed before. It is because of His love, that this season is what it is.

I love my life. As chaotic as it may be. As much as someone else would look at it and say it's nothing special or that I'm not 'doing much'. My life is everything, because my life is Christ.

Day 2: Glendalough, Avoca.

Day 2 started and we were off for more adventures. This is just one example of some of the roads we ended up on. No room was ever wasted. :)

Our first stop was at St. Kevin's church at Glendalough. St. Kevin came to Glendalough in the 6th century. As a monk, His monastery became the parent to many more monasteries in Ireland. He was known for His extremely devout nature, and His solitude. We had the honor of meeting the priest and a precious sister at the church. It was a rich experience and it was very much a set up from God.  I loved listening to the Father talk, He was a wealth of knowledge who was deeply concerned about the people of Ireland. It would be fun to return there someday!

Next we had the honor of going to see the monastic sight of Glendalough. It has been one of the most visited places in Ireland for 1400 years, starting with the arrival of St. Kevin and then later with St. Lawrence O Toole who was known for his hospitality and His sanctity for people during the many invasions that Ireland has endured. 

At one time there were 7 churches at this small site. People would flock here on a pilgrimage to meet with God. And though most of the site was destroyed by the English in 1398, what remains is beautiful to say the least. While here, I had to wonder, 'if the presence is so strong here now, what was it like when it was a fully-functioning site?'

This, in it's time, was the largest church in Ireland. There was something about walking into this place that made me want to worship God. His presence, even after this place has laid in ruin for so long, lingers here. It's strong on the whole site of Glendalough, but here in the church I could feel it the most. I wanted to pull up a chair and stay a long while.

This was the tower that would ring the call for times of prayer. Also it was used to store food and valuable things. The door is so high because in times of invasion they would hide people in the tower then pull the ladder up so that no invaders could get in. Here, and at another site we went to we noticed that the towers were the only things with no damage to them. The call for intercession and prayer still rings out all over the land.

Glendalough was what we call a thin-place. A place where you could feel heaven's presence just being there. We had fun soaking it in, and also partnering with what we felt God was speaking to us about Ireland there. Many prayers were said for the glory that we felt there to spread all over Ireland, outside the church and into every realm of society.

Behind the celtic cross you can see a hill on the right. This was my favorite hill. Like never before, I was sure there were a whole lot of angels there.

While in Ireland we did a lot of praying at different waters. We prayed that 'deep would call to deep' that the land would remember the times it was in revival in the past and that God would help it happen again. This was a place that I had read about in a brochure the night before but we had no idea where it was, or how to get there. And what do you know? We just 'happened' to drive right past it. It is a place called the 'meeting of the 2 waters' and it's literally 2 rivers merging into one. It was beautiful.

Next we got to go have a bit of fun in a wee little town called Avoca which is better known as the filming sight of BBC's Ballykissangel, a precious show that the VanWinkle's have gotten me attached too a bit. If you ever want to learn a bit more about the culture of Ireland, I recommend it. (uncle Gary.)

Here Jim and Brenda are acting out a scene from Ballykiss.

Next we stopped to have fish and chips at Fitzgeralds. How much more irish can you get?

It was just a little delicious. :)

We drove and found a random B&B in the middle of the country with one of the most precious owners. We all felt extremely blessed as we settled in for the evening. And as if the full day wasn't enough, God gave us this before we went to bed.

Another musing on Trust

Welp. I totally failed on my promise last week with no intentions of doing so. It seems that having 2 jobs, getting a house ready and trying to figure out who you are in the midst of God rearranging your whole life is quite time-consuming. But ALAS! I have a WHOLE day off tomorrow! (first time in a couple of weeks with no agenda) so I fully intend to write many more updates from Ireland tomorrow and then post them throughout the week.

I'm not going to lie, my last week was a hard one. It seems like there is a line between being busy and being so busy that you just feel yucky about yourself. I definitely crossed that line last week. It's not that you're a bad person, but you just have very little energy to really spend on anything besides surviving. I'm so glad that we serve a God that is full of second chances, grace, and compassion that would break the hardest heart. I'm so glad that in seasons like this He is so pleased even when we just simply acknowledge that He is with us.

For some reason God has been having me reread "The Shack" the last few weeks. It's a book that I really do love but I had already had about 3 other books started and so to be honest I thought, "Really? Another one that I probably won't finish?" And yes, it's taking me a lot longer to get through it than books I usually read. But it's been one of those, pick-it-up-to-just-read-a-chapter-and-completely-get-wrecked-and-owned-by-what-you're-reading-because-it-was-exactly-what-you-needed-in-the-moment type of books. Totally and completely set up by God. He is such an amazing pursuer and friend, always giving you exactly what you need, even when you don't know what you need.

To be honest, there were several times where this week I knew it would be easier for me to give up, pack up, and go back to Iowa. When you reach a point like the one I did this week, I think it's one of the clearest signs that you are about to break into a whole other realm. When the easiest option is to give up, it means that you are knocking down walls and taking unknown ground. This usually gives me motivation to keep breaking through, to keep pressing into Him to see whatever I'm breaking into completely fulfilled. This week, however, I was tired and I feel like this is happening in almost every aspect of my life. I felt almost too tired to remain hopeful, too tired to keep dreaming-something I do naturally. So I just put my hand to the plow, learning every day just a little bit more how to trust the process He has me in. Trusting that He is doing far bigger things in me and for me than I know how to do.

Getting back to "The Shack;" at one of my hardest moments this week I, of course, came across this quote which both helped me in the deepest ways possible, and also challenged me a whole lot in my small faith. I'm finding that happens with God-when He shares things with you it's to comfort, but also to propel you into a deeper relationship with Him.

"Trust is the fruit of a relationship in which you know you are loved. Because you do not know that I love you, you cannot trust me."

I was having such a hard time with trust this week, something that I normally don't struggle with as much. I realized this week that I still have no idea how much God loves me. How much, even in a week when I could hardly stand myself, STILL He loves me. He knows every part, even the parts I want to hide in a corner and show to no one, and still He loves me. He's crazy about me. And He's just as crazy about you! It's when we understand this fact that we can begin to trust Him. First in small things, then growing until we are completely assured of how well He holds our precious lives."

So, needless to say, last week is over and this week has begun. I'm learning to trust His love, trust His timing, and trust that He sees the order in this seeming chaos. I long to live every day in total trust of who He is as a good Father, as a provider, and as one who gives my life meaning and purpose. One day at a time, one step at a time, surely His love endures forever

L

(more ireland to come tomorrow, promise!)

Ireland Day 1: Travel and Dublin.

After an incredibly busy but satisfying first few weeks of May we were off on our adventure. Jim and Kim Vanwinkle, and I left on a sunny Saturday evening for Ireland to join Brenda, who had been ministering the 2 previous weeks in Northern Ireland, Dublin, and Cork.

Our flights all went well though we did get our exercise in the San Francisco airport making sure to catch our connection. But after that we were greeted with the luxury of seats with extra leg room on our 10 hour jaunt to London. The flight went quickly and I, who never sleep on flights, slept surprisingly well. It's safe to say that the trip was off to an amazing start I, myself surprised at the ease and safety I felt.

We arrived in Dublin at around 6:00pm on Sunday evening. After my first experience of driving on the terribly signed, narrow roads of Ireland we all slept extremely well, staying in Dublin for the evening. The next morning after my first Irish Breakfast which was delicious and included some delicious baby mushrooms I'm going to try to replicate, we were off to explore some of Dublin after an amazing time of prayer and preparation for whatever God had for us in this amazing land.

First we went to the Book of Kells at the Trinity College Library. The book of Kells is a hand-copied Bible scribed by monks in Ireland years ago. It made us all think: "How much do you have to love God, and love the word of God to painstakingly hand copy it and decorate it word-for-word your whole life? It was an amazing sight, indeed, and was just one of the many symbols of the rich, deep heritage the Irish have had with God in the past we got to experience. We were excited to be used in awakening that heritage, excited that God would allow us to be in a land that He longs for so much to come back to where they were, and go even beyond that in their passion and pursuit of Him. 

We also got to go to an old church that they turned into a restaurant in the heart of Dublin. At this church, Wesley preached during the reformation, and Handel himself practiced the Messiah on the organ here. 

The best part? We got to get right up to it and touch it. This was an amazing experience for me. To be in a place of such history, and to 'pull' a little on the anointing left there by such profound men. 

On our way out of Dublin we stopped on the side of the road to get some Dandelions, we used them a lot in prophetic acts all over Ireland, I'll share more on that later perhaps. Anyways, when we pulled off, we looked back and had a gorgeous view of Dublin. You could see the ocean and some of the city, and a huge thunderstorm beginning to move in as we looked back over it. It was an amazing sight. We happily agreed with God that His rains would cover Dublin and His presence would stay there and envelope the whole town.

A few miles later, as we were trying to find a B&B following the terribly marked roads of Ireland, we came upon a huge double rainbow. It was amazingly beautiful. Brenda had earlier had prophetic words about watching the skies to see that you're on the right track, watching for rainbows and also that she would receive a 'double portion.' We, again, were on the right path and were so happy to be met with such a sign and hug from God.

From the very first day, I was almost dumbfounded that a place could be so beautiful. Almost painfully beautiful. It is extremely apparent that God has marked this land. The air is cleaner than everywhere I've been before, the weather milder. It's almost impossible to set foot on the soil, or look at pictures and not fall in love. We were ready to see what God held for us in the rest of this extremely experimental trip. We felt blessed and satisfied as we turned in after our first day of praying in Dublin. 

That evening God gave me a vision of the wealth and resources of Dublin (it's a very wealthy city and Ireland is not a wealthy nation) being unlocked into the rest of the nation. I saw all of the huge banks we had walked by earlier that day getting a huge key inserted into them and the faces of the buildings swinging open, the money and resources being dispersed to the rest of the nation. Before we left California we prayed often for the nation to prosper. I'm believing that it will. 

Our B&B sign, on the evening of night 1.

AH! It's coming, I promise!

OK! SO, I have NOT forgotten to give you some stories of Ireland. Upon returning home, I immediately started my new job with Compass Care as an in-home care provider for elderly. I am absolutely in love with my little ladies and honored that God would allow me such a safe environment in which to learn how to love and care in such a practical way for the needs of others. He is opening my eyes in so many new ways, my brain can hardly comprehend it. While, I knew that I would be working for them I had no idea how much, but in the past 2 weeks I have averaged about 25-30 hours with them alone. Add that to my already 12 hours at Target and to trying to get my house settled and to the good bit of jetlag I've been going through and you have one very busy, but extremely satisfied Lara.

SO starting tomorrow I will being going either day-by-day or two days at a time of our journeys in Ireland. I'm so excited to share with you a bit of what God did during our time there, and some fun stories to go along with it. We are still having fun learning all that He's done there and continues to do after us. We just know that much was accomplished for the Kingdom. I will do my best to post some pictures along with what it all was, and feel free to take a little looksie over on my facebook page at the almost finished Ireland 2012 album.

ALSO God has been stirring some pretty exciting ideas in my little brain about some fun things that I hope that you will join me in doing. Look for more info on that on a Wednesday coming soon.
Love you all, and hope you enjoy my 'Ireland in Review' coming to you all week! ;)

-no editing needed-

Ireland, houses and jobs.

Hi just a VERY quick update, probably many grammatical errors, included.

After one of the busiest, craziest, most extravagant months (and especially week) of my life I am 5 hours out from the beginning of my trip to Ireland. I would love and appreciate your prayers as we travel and do what we feel we are called to do there.

In the last week I got hired as a home-care provider for a not-for-profit here in town. I had applied back in March but couldn't work the position they had available but I really fell in love with the people and told them that if they ever had anything else available please call me. Fast forward 2 months to Monday and after literally the night before asking God for another job, I woke up to a phone call asking if I still wanted to work with them and if I would like to come in for another interview. I of course said yes, then found out Tuesday that I didn't need to do the interview and could begin training. In the past 3 days I have been trained in CPR, First Aid and my initial training with Compass Care. I am so excited to begin being able to have direct access with people once again and am so excited for, yet another, new challenge.

After a month of fixing up a house, prepping for Ireland, training for a new job, helping write some curriculum and a slew of other random things I am feeling so empowered in who God has made me to be. I have never before trusted my voice as much as now, never before seen how actively He's working on our behalf. I am exhausted, but I am empowered. It is amazing just how much His grace is sufficient to meet all of our needs and desires. His mercies really ARE new every morning. There has been a lot of hard, not just in my life, but also from afar in Iowa, but there is a lot of amazing in with it. It's important that we never base our theology and beliefs on things that don't happen, or haven't happened but rather we press in and press on until we really do see heaven come on earth. That is my passion. That is my goal. More than ever I know that I know that my purpose is to destroy the works of the devil and see heaven fill this earth everywhere I walk. Why not start now? Why not start here?

Ireland: T-Minus 5 hours. Thank you for the prayer as we go. Not sure that I'll be able to update while there but certainly will have much good to share upon return. Love you all more than you understand.
-L-

Value

Felt that I was supposed to share an experience with you this evening.

I have been in some sort of major life transition for over 4 years now. I've talked about it before, how it's hard to fully function when you're not sure what your 'role' looks like. Most of the time, I don't have a problem being excited and at ease about trusting God's timing for my life. Lately, it's been a bit harder. The combination of being 1900 miles away from my family and anything that's safe with being in a house that is currently undergoing a lot of renovations and has absolutely no order for the last month kind of started taking a toll on my mind this week. There have been some situations this last month that have really left me questioning my value. Now, not my value as a person, etc just my value in the Kingdom and what I'm actually called to.

Monday it all kind of came to a culmination. I was frustrated, exhausted and flat out honest before God. I started asking Him why I was where I was. My heart has only ever yearned to serve Him with my whole life. To give Him the best of what I have. But for the past 2 years it seems like I haven't even known what to give Him. I started having this conversation with Him about my longing to serve Him and yet wondering if I even had anything to offer Him that could possibly help further His kingdom on earth. You see, when someone misunderstands us, or underestimates our giftings or just plain doesn't know us, we have this tendency to tune into them instead of our heavenly Father.

And while there was no immediate answer to this very hard conversation, last night I was awoken from my sleep hearing God repeat and sing (yes, God sings!) this over me:

"I value you. I value every part of you. I value you. I value the very depths of your being-the very depths of who you are. The things you like, the things you don't even know about yourself yet. I value you. I value what you carry. I value the stature of your heart. I value you, and you don't even understand how much I value you. Your words? I value you them. What you keep hidden in your heart? I value that. I value you, Lara. I value all of you."

And the fact of the matter is, He sings the same song over you. It sounds different to each. Each has a different cadence, a different rhythm. Each with different chords and progressions. Each with melodies and harmonies so sweet, so passionate and so uniquely matching what's going on inside. But each message the same. You are valued. You are precious, and listened to and necessary to the kingdom of God.

From the King of a far off land, to a Starbucks Barista. From the pastor of large, thriving church, to the Pastor of a small, rural church that is barely staying afloat. From the CEO of a major multi-million dollar company to the stay-at-home momma rocking her babies to sleep every night. From the ministers of the gospel with a large following and multiple books to the girl who just wants to serve God but is stuck working at Target to make ends meet (thank you Jesus!) We ALL have value in the Kingdom of God. We are each valued by this King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Many parts, same body.

It's amazing how different people act when they know they are valued. It's amazing how empowered they not only feel but they become. I long to create relationships around me that make every single person aware that I value what they each carry so much. I long for people to be fully themselves knowing that I will celebrate who they are and challenge them to be the best possible, because we as a body need it. Because they were created for a purpose, and we need what they carry. I wonder what would happen if the church would begin to fully value peoples giftings even if they weren't giftings that looked uniquely 'church-ese?' I think that the church would grow dramatically. Not just in numbers, but in depth.

My challenge is two-fold. First, is examine your perception of how God is viewing you. If you've struggled at all with your identity in Him take some time, get alone with Him and listen for your 'song.' Hear Him saying over you: "I value you. I value what you carry."

Second, take some time to evaluate and fix any relationships where you have underestimated or wrongly treated people you care about. Especially people in the church. Begin to place value on the giftings you see in them even if you don't understand them or they seem odd to you. Look for what God is doing in them, and partner with it quickly to encourage them in that gift. I have a feeling they will come alive around you in a very interesting way.

I hadn't intended to write this much, but it's amazing what comes flowing out of you in 10 minutes when it's so close to your heart. Sorry it's not much of an update per-say but it is what God has been challenging me with/teaching me. I will have much to update soon for Ireland. IRELAND! :)

Love you all. You are each valued much by me.
Lara
2 Samuel 22:20 "He led me to a place of safety; He rescued me because He DELIGHTS in me."

The curious case of life.

Well hello all! It sure has been a long while. I'm always struck by the times in life where you seem to have everything thrown at you at once. It seems like I have been going non-stop for the past week and a half of my life and I realized tonight that it feels that way because I HAVE been going non-stop for the last week and a half. To be honest, I feel like a different person and this afternoon that was confirmed as someone said to me, "You are a different person than you were last week." Huh, thanks! :)

My life is amazing. Hard. Beautiful. Super complicated. Wonderful. Seems like we get the hardest as we learn to handle the greatest. Don't know if anyone can relate, but that is so much where I am right now.

For those of you that don't know, I moved into a house last Saturday. It feels like it's been a month, but it hasn't even been 2 weeks yet! Crazy. It has been wonderful. The house wasn't left in very good shape so the 4 days were totally committed to cleaning. Now that things are clean(er) my life has been dedicated to painting, and a random assortment of other things that need to be done. I have had many moments of victory (like installing my own shower head) and many moments where I have sat on the floor (as I currently only have dinning room chairs) and weeped out of exhaustion and frustration only to have God stand me back up and basically yell at me that 'these are your feet, I've given you them to touch and bless nations, you can do this!'

It has truly been one of the most shaping weeks of my entire life. I haven't opened my bible more than 3 times (gasp). I haven't spent time in worship (double gasp). And I certainly haven't had much quiet time (i know, I'm a heathen). ;) But I have had some of the most intimate, deep, wonderfully painful conversations that I've ever had in my life with God, and I am certainly learning the most I ever have. I can literally feel myself getting stronger in every capacity. I have always known that God is simply enough, and now I am learning it firsthand. I am eternally grateful for this week, for this time.

For some people there would be a tendency to wonder what I'm 'doing' in ministry right now. Besides getting ready for Ireland, and I'll get to that in a bit, my life right now is this house. I've been given an amazing opportunity to help get this house ready for another midwestern girl who will be moving here this fall for school. Because of the way the house was before I moved in, I am really viewing this as just as much as a ministry as anything else. I get to prepare the atmosphere as a worshipper. I get to change things physically so that God can change things spiritually. I think of all of the people who will walk into this house in the future, and I am hugely honored to be able to be the starting point of all of that.

Pastor Bill talked this last Sunday about celebrating the favor you've been given no matter what the favor is. I have been given great, GREAT favor in this house in this season. It is this favor that I will now use for the Kingdom. I have it set in my heart that in my house impossibilities will bow. That all who enter my home have to leave changed; more aware of His presence, more full of joy, blessed financially, rested more fully. One of these things must be done. This is the favor I've been given and I will do it well.

So yes. Besides the house we are almost 3 weeks out from IRELAND! I am SO SO excited to get my feet on the soil there. After months of planning we are itching and ready to be there. We are praying, so that you can join us, for God to invade and change Ireland through us. We have had so many amazing words, promises, and declarations over this trip. We believe that revival fires will burn bright once again in Ireland, we are believing for the restoration of families, we are believing the 'impossible' will happen in every avenue of Ireland.

That being said, I am so happy and excited to announce that because of amazing, amazing people like you I have received all of the funds that I need for this trip to happen! I am totally in awe of God and the generosity of all of you. Thank you does not even begin to cover it! God has really begun a deep work in me in my time here in Redding concerning my heart and role in the nations. I do not know what all is coming, what it will look like and where but I do know that my feet will be on foreign soil. This is my first official 'missions trip' overseas, so thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for your first seeds money. I pray that all of you will receive the 'first fruits blessings' that you all so deserve! I would, however ask that you would seek if you are to continue to give towards this trip. There are still people on my team that need more funds, and I am very boldly asking that you would give towards their tickets. If one part of our team needs money, we all need money as far as I'm concerned. If you want to give towards this trip you can email me at larahochstetler@gmail.com or just send me a check! I'll make sure that it gets to the right people for Ireland. Just write Ireland in the memo line.
My NEW address is:
Lara Hochstetler
5343 Stonethrow Ct.
Redding, Ca 96003

I LOVE being able to say that! Please send me mail! I love getting mail and sending mail! :) It's one of my favorite things, actually. (old school mail).

So, I think that's pretty much it for now. I'm so glad I finally had time to sit down, take a deep breath and update all of you crazy, amazing, passionate people that love me so so well. I love to hear back, so PLEASE don't be shy. I cannot even express what is going on in my heart except that it's big and most of it unexpected! It will be fun to see all that God births out of this season. Love you and miss you all.
-L-

Some pictures, as always to send you out with...

My first declaration over my house.

This is my house! :) Come visit me!

Post cleaning/vacuuming. Pre-painting. Everything will look completely different when I'm done.