This Place...

How in the world do I always end up in this place?
You know, this place where so much has happened and I could not possibly begin to explain all of it and do it justice at all. It doesn't help that I'm in a place where sometimes I literally feel like I'm living 3 lives all at the same time. Like I'm careening down rapids with no life raft, flat on my back staring into the sky and praying that I will just happen to float around all of the obstacles that I can't even see. The oddest thing about this season is that in any other circumstance, it would feel overwhelming. But I love it. Like, genuinely, deeply, I love it. I really never thought I could be working 2 jobs and going to school and be happy. I never really knew or understood that I had the capacity to. Sure, I knew bits of my strength, but never, ever the fullness of it. Not at this level anyways. If there's one thing I'm learning in this season, besides my capacity in Him. It's that it's all about His sweet, sweet presence. That's the only way I can at all explain why I haven't gone crazy, and in fact the opposite is happening. I love my life. Sure, I mess up. I slept through 4 alarms yesterday because I was so exhausted. But life is full, and life is really good. When our lives are constantly centered around seeking His presence, I am becoming more and more sure that we really can do anything.
At the beginning of this year I was moving across the country. I had a perceived idea of what Redding would include, but really I had no idea. I knew I had heard the Lord say to come, but didn't know a lot more. In May I was blessed with the opportunity to go to Ireland and pray through the country with some amazing people. In August I heard the Lord say to go to school. I promptly said no, but because I have committed my life to Him, He won that argument. So here I am, at a school I'd never thought I'd be at, living in California, working 2 jobs, all within 11 months. I found out 2 weeks ago, that in March I am heading to Lebanon. This is a HUGE dream come true for me. I have always had a heart for the middle east, specifically muslim women. But i had already kind of decided that I wouldn't probably make it to the middle east until my 30s. I knew it was in my heart, and a dream but seriously, if you would have told me all of this before I moved here, I might have laughed at you.

But that's just the thing, God really is good. He really is in a good mood. He really does want to see us accomplish our dreams WAY more than we do. And He really does believe in us. He is working out SO much more for us than we sometimes even allow Him to. If there's one thing I've set in my heart this past week it's been that I MUST stop underestimating what He can do in me, through me, and in the world. His intentions for us are pure. Does this mean that life is easy? Absolutely not. But the dreams of our heart, are out of His heart.

We are embarking on a week that is known for Thankfulness. And while I cannot possibly begin to tell you all that is going on around me and deep inside of me, one thing is for sure: I am so thankful for my life. All the crazy, chaotic, hopeful, daring aspect of it and I live for this one thing: to see God glorified through EVERY aspect of my life.

Love you all.