So realistically at this point with 30+ hours of work and full-time school and homework, I cannot possibly get mad at myself for not posting much as of late. However, I do want you, whoever you are, to still feel connected to my life in some way so...here it is! Sometimes I write things and they mean nothing to me, and sometimes I write and have no idea what I'm writing until I come back to it and it challenges me to my core. This was one of those things. This is from some of my homework for school this year. I wrote it for a book report, and I wanted to share it with you. It seems like a lot of people I talk to in my life are walking through this. To choose joy and hope inspite of not seeing our promises come true is one of the hardest, yet essential things we do as believers. I hope that you will join me on this journey as we learn to live well and full of His LIFE.
"We have to appoint ourselves as the keeper of our lives and the protector of our hearts. We choose our moods, actions and belief systems; therefore, we are powerful enough to change them!" (Supernatural Power of Forgiveness, Kris and Jason Vallotton)
So for me, at this point in my life these 2 quotes go together. Something I'm walking through at the moment, and I think will continue to walk through is, what we do with the promises The Lord has given us that have not yet come to pass? How do we posture our heart when it genuinely hurts to pray for something that we honestly don't want to pray anymore for? How do we choose hope in the moments when our hearts are sick because of hope deferred? At times I think that I have walked through things thinking that I couldn't have 'fullness' of joy until I saw that thing I had hoped for fulfilled. But I'm finding more and more that if I live with that mindset it makes me powerless. That if I am dependent on that promise happening to live in fullness of joy than my joy is then dependent on my circumstances, and not on the very one that is my source of joy.
Realistically, I think that sometimes it's much easier to just blame circumstances for internal hurts. I think it's easier to find fault in other people, on their actions or lack thereof. But this second quote says it all. We are the keeper of our hearts and lives. We actually have been empowered by the Holy Spirit to choose how we respond to things. And we have been given the ability to walk through pain, not denying that it's there, but choosing joy, and peace in spite of the pain. It's an act of worship, I think. I was just today faced again with an ongoing situation in which in my mind I feel I have the right to choose offense, but instead I have chosen to choose joy, not because my pain doesn't exist, but because I know that it's actually a healthy way to protect my heart, and those around me in my life. Basically, I want to move into a place where I am complete, where I have ownership for my life and I have the ability to hold onto the promises, keeping my heart healthy and full of hope at the same time.
Realistically, I think that sometimes it's much easier to just blame circumstances for internal hurts. I think it's easier to find fault in other people, on their actions or lack thereof. But this second quote says it all. We are the keeper of our hearts and lives. We actually have been empowered by the Holy Spirit to choose how we respond to things. And we have been given the ability to walk through pain, not denying that it's there, but choosing joy, and peace in spite of the pain. It's an act of worship, I think. I was just today faced again with an ongoing situation in which in my mind I feel I have the right to choose offense, but instead I have chosen to choose joy, not because my pain doesn't exist, but because I know that it's actually a healthy way to protect my heart, and those around me in my life. Basically, I want to move into a place where I am complete, where I have ownership for my life and I have the ability to hold onto the promises, keeping my heart healthy and full of hope at the same time.
Something I have been walking through as of late is this: I have set my heart on Him. I am determined, that no matter what, no matter what God does or 'doesn't' do for me, I will never withhold myself from Him. When we learn to move past our offenses and choose to worship Him instead, it always makes us powerful. I have determined within me that no matter how tired, how frustrated, how broken I 'feel', He is and always will be worth all of my attention, and all of my affections...and that my friends has filled me with more hope, steady joy, passion and energy than ever before. It really is our choice, our powerful, free choice of how we respond to Him. And while I have a LONG way to go, hope builds every day, making it worth the sacrifice that it is most days.
God bless you on your journey to becoming whole, and realizing that He wants us to be full of life, and life abundantly. He is for us, and not against us. Will we choose to live in that reality today?
L
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