I submit.

I’ve been doing a lot of planning lately. Planning my own schedule is something I don’t think I’ve ever been able to do, at least not fully. I’ve always had a consistent job, school, church obligations, etc. And now, besides 2 meetings every week I can do whatever I want to, whenever. I’ve been absolutely loving it, finding so much joy and freedom in being able to pursue whatever I’d like to in the best parts of my day. Sleep works wonders for the soul and most of the time though I work on things for 8-10 hours a day, I don’t feel as though I’ve worked at all.

It’s a joy, and yet every night I have a deeper and deeper revelation that I can’t plan my way out of a paper bag. Administration is one of my strongest gifts and I love to create structure…I’m a builder, organizer and creator by nature. Details are something I can’t not see…trust me, I’ve tried (anal is the word that comes to mind). So it’s not that I’m not good at planning, it’s just that without this great big gift submitted the one who’s given it, it yields absolutely nothing of value.

It’s funny and sad at how often we forget what's important in the kingdom. I am sad to say that there are so many days that I’ve administrated myself right out of having to love people, out of sacrificing my energy and time to care for those around me. I get so busy with 'stuff' (that might be important) that I forget that the kingdom is all about people, not tasks.

In a previous blog I wrote about the fact that I am the biggest and deepest dreamer I know. I have crazy and extravagant dreams and this is one of the first seasons of my life that I’ve had time and energy to begin to put my attention on making them a reality. But, without this beautiful gift in full submission to the one who owns it, excellence can quickly turn into criticism, cynicism and an overwhelming sense of seeing every detail that is wrong with anything. But under submission, oh, what a beautiful thing. Building structures to house and sustain His glory. Putting feet to dreams, excellence, etc.

No matter what your giftings, may we all work hard to use them with wisdom and in full submission to the one who gave that gift to begin with. It’s not enough to simply submit our weaknesses to Him, we must submit all of who we are-especially the parts of us that we think are strong.

I came across a prayer that I wrote out a few years ago. While it’s simple, I was struck by the profoundness of how I need to pray this even more now that I am actually coming alive and able to use my strengths. For most of my life I’ve seen God’s power because I was operating in areas of my personal weaknesses, but now that I am hitting my stride like never before…I recognize my need for Him even more in every moment.

I submit to your timings.
I submit to your knowing.
I submit to the control of your Spirit.
I submit my dreams and longings, all to your will for the glory of your name.
I submit my heart; it's aches and its joys.
I submit my mind; every thought and perception.
I submit my whole self to you, oh God, a willing servant to the cause of your kingdom. 
Every breath, every tear, every word and song shall ever be written for eternity.
This is my sacrifice, the only thing good enough to give; here's my life.
Amen.


I am profoundly humbled, more vulnerable than ever with my strengths showing because without Him in authority over them, I could never be enough. But when fully submitted, it will beautiful to watch His strength being expressed through me.

L