Enough

Blogging? What's that? As much as I'd love to apologize for the lack of writing on my end, I think that if anything else was added to my plate right now there would be one crazy Lara running around Redding, as if I wasn't crazy enough already. ;)

I hardly ever do this, but I wanted to share a song that I literally just finished about 15 minutes ago. It's stiff, needs a lot of work, and is far from perfect but it is just so much what I sense a lot of people, especially my closest friends are walking through right now.

This week was a hard one for me, I won't lie or try to sugar coat it. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't figure out how to pull myself up. Sure, I was homesick, and sure I'm not necessarily loving my jobs at the moment but really nothing 'bad' happened at all that really should have triggered the intense battle that I've walked through in the last 5 days. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that internally I was dealing and contemplating with a question that I think every follower of Christ walks through in different levels throughout their lives-"Is He enough?" Now. I'm not talking, is God enough when things are good, but really, truly, deeply, is God enough for me to live the life I'm living? Is He able to meet not just my physical needs but my emotional and mental needs as well? When I have literally no one to turn to, when there seems to be no point to what I'm doing, is He sufficient? Is He worth everything?

I feel like the deeper our walk goes with Him, the more we will ask this. Every level deeper we go in our relationship, the more serious His kingdom is for us the more we will have to know...Is He enough? Is He worth it? Is He able?

While I haven't settled it completely in my heart, the best I can do is lean into Him, trusting Him with control and laying down my independence at the foot of the cross where Jesus paid dearly with His life as a shining beacon that yes, this God that we serve, He is sufficient for all our needs and He will pay any price for us to know it.

To everyone right now that is going through this same battle I pray and trust that Papa God will show and prove Himself strong for you. In the meanwhile, I pray that you will trust that He is enough. I am thankful that we serve a God that wants to be a part of our mess, that isn't afraid of our questions, and who longs for realistic relationship even when that means we have doubts and we struggle. Hold on, for like me, I believe daylight is coming for you as well. I'm in this for the long run, even when my feelings betray me, I will trust that He is enough.

This song is for you: Enough-Lara Hochstetler August 3, 2012
Will you be enough for me
Will you be my shelter so I can hide
Will you be enough for me
Will you be my comfort when I just can't understand
Will you be enough

Will you be enough for me
Will you hold me close when I can't stand on my own
Will you be enough for me
When my faith is weak and I can hardly hold on
Hold On

You are my hope when my courage has failed
You are my refuge through the storms
You are my joy when all colors have faded away
And through it all I'm amazed to find You're enough

Will you be enough for me
When my days are at their end
Will you be enough for me
When I breath my last, and we walk hand in hand

You are enough
You are enough for me dedicated to the late Lynn Swee