Efficiency in the Kingdom and the Journey of Getting my Life Wrecked by God.

Hello all! Just thought I'd shoot you another update.
The main thing is this week I started my job at Target. While I still have a ton to learn, and feel like I stock shelves at the speed of mud, I'm still really excited and honored to have this job. Praying for the ability to learn at a supernatural speed and for my fine motor skills to kick in a wee bit earlier than they have been the past few mornings. :)

Other than that, I don't know that I can adequately yet describe how I've been feeling during this whole process of moving here. I feel like God has taken all of the different characteristics of my life, my dreams, my passions, my ambitions, my hopes, etc. and put them in a blender then turned it on full speed. Every once and a while I find myself staring really hard at a wall, not realizing what I'm doing and then I have other moments where I'm thinking about so much I feel like my head could pop right off. When you think you know who you are for 23 years and then come to the realization that that's only just the beginning, it's kind of a bit hard to process. When you've always felt like an extravagant dreamer and then you realize that really your thinking was pretty small, that's kind of hard to process. (you get the point) I have never laughed so much, cried so much, wondered if I was crazy so much, and believed in myself so much. (a little hard to process!)
Everything is changing. And all of it is so much for the better, and so much for His glory. It's just that sometimes I have moments every now and then where my flesh gets really concerned (as it should be) because it is losing all control. Our flesh is an ugly 15 headed monster that really doesn't want to die. I feel myself dealing with insecurities I've never had to deal with before. Thinking and dwelling on things that simply do not matter because my mind is desperately trying to remain in control. But it's so good to go through this process. It's so good to get all of my 'stuff' thrown in a blender so that God can make something wonderful and delicious. (i know, lame analogy.)

I find myself being so overwhelmed by His goodness. I don't think it's so much this place, but just being in right alignment with His word, and what He wants to do with my life in combination with taking a risk like this for Him. He loves risk so much more than I ever realized. He loves having the ball put in His court so that He has to show up to bring glory to His name.

Today I came home from work feeling pretty overwhelmed. I haven't had to learn how to do anything new in a work setting for about the past 4 years. While I'm constantly learning new things, work was something I never had to worry about. When I work, I like to take charge and get things done and today I felt like the annoying high schooler that no one wants to help because they pretty much just get in your way.  So I came home and I was dealing with that. And then God gave me this perfect image of how He views us during our times of 'training.'

Have you ever had moments when you feel guilty because you're not reading the word enough, or worshiping enough, or thinking right thoughts, or fill in the blank? Do you ever get on yourself for the time you've wasted or for how slow you seem to be stocking the shelves of your character development like I did at work today? God just really used today's situation to show me that  when it comes to Him, it is really all about the relationship and the position of our hearts towards Him.

He could care less initially about our effectiveness, or efficiency or speed. He is so much more concerned about the condition of our hearts. About what our hearts true desires are. About the longing and aching of why we are in relationship with Him. He really taught me today that He is the redeemer of all time, and He can give us back all those moments when our hearts longed to do the right things, and we just couldn't seem to get them done.

I am so glad that I serve the redeemer of all time. Aren't you? I'm so glad that He's so not concerned with performance and efficiency but rather with humbleness, purity, and meekness. And while this doesn't give us a license to do whatever we'd like to, it does release us into more freedom. Which is what He's all about. Freedom. Because when we're truly free, that's when we start to have effectiveness in the kingdom. That's when He starts to speed our steps, and make us efficient.

We serve such a good God.

With Love,
-L-

This is my home for a few months! :) Please continue to pray for the right place to live, room for when all of you visit and the funds to pay for it!

The view at the end of the drive.

The view the other way. Hard to see, but more mountains!

If there's one thing I can't get enough of it's beautiful sunsets. Happy to say that California, too, has beautiful sunsets! (this is Shasta Lake)

Tonight's beautiful sunset.

Of course hard to see but I am happy to announce that there are visible stars here! :) I'm obsessed with skies. 

The Loft Sessions

Ok, shameless plug. Bethel's Loft Sessions come out TOMORROW and I would highly encourage you to grab a copy when you can! I got a copy yesterday at Church and I have been incredibly blessed by it, to say the least. I have been on the floor part of the morning because I have been so overwhelmed with His kindness and goodness. It's a great cd to worship to, soak in His presence with, or to just have as the background noise. That and this is more of my style of music, so I'm really enjoying it. Kind of eclectic. Lots of sound layering. And lots of different people. I love it. Here are some videos; one a preview, one an actual song. 

Learning the Definition of Doing.

Well, I'm not really sure what to post on, but I know I wanted to post so here it is! :) It's really hard to know how to update on things when you feel like almost everything is shifting and changing in your life. I'm loving life here in California in a whole new and different way than I ever have before. These last few weeks have shown me that God truly does want us to go 'from glory to glory'...it just happened that this included a move for me. One thing that's been changing dramatically in my life is learning how to just sit and wait before the Lord. I think more than I realized it, I had this concept of God that I constantly needed to be doing things for Him. If I wasn't worshiping I needed to be reading. If I wasn't reading I needed to be serving or journaling or working, or DOING something. Something that God dropped in my spirit yesterday both left me in tears and with a whole new concept on what our relationship means to Him. It's something I've known (points to head) but never really knew (points to heart). I hope it encourages you, and I hope that as you read my journey of learning how to fully trust the leading of the Spirit, you will be inspired to do the same also.
He said,
"Lara, the way that you think about me brings me joy. And it's my joy that gives you the strength to do what I've made you to do. When you simply focus your mind completely on me, even if you do nothing the whole day, you've accomplished much more than if you do things on your own. For it's your thoughts that put you in a position to do great things. Out of this place of simply dwelling on me you will move mountains. It's out of simply who you are that you will change nations."
This is a HUGE change of mindset. Being from the midwest, I've always felt guilty about being the creative type that I am. I always felt that I was never doing enough. And the constant act of trying to 'do' before the Lord left me unable to really do anything that I was designed to do (create). I have a feeling that my whole life will change from a mindset like this one. Who knows what God can and will do now that I finally feel free to completely surrender my schedule to Him?! It's exciting! :)

So, some updates from this end. Monday will mark 2 weeks of being here. I have had so many confirmations that this is where I am supposed to be in this season. It's been amazing. Some updates: I start my position at Target on Wednesday bright and early! :) I'm excited to start to have connections in the city and be a light even at 4:30 in the morning. ;)
-Wednesday I got to go to a healing conference and saw over 120 people get healed. The reports from Thursday nights is that over 300 got healed! What a mighty God we serve!
-Jim, Brenda, Kim and I are planning our trip to Ireland in May! We would love and appreciate your prayers in these regards. We are completely open to whatever the Holy Spirit is saying we should do on this trip. We are praying that God uses us to dispense His love and healing wherever we go. We would also appreciate your prayers and perhaps even your support as it is not cheap to purchase tickets and every day we wait the price gets a bit higher. (we trust God will reverse this!)
-I'm still fervently praying for connections here especially concerning housing and any other ministry opportunities that God has for me. In the past I have really underestimated myself on what I carry and what God can use me for and I am working hard to watch the words that come out of me, especially about myself. I'm so thankful for grace when we miss it, and His encouragement when we're in the midst of it! Aren't you?

That's really about it on my front, I think. Sometimes having a life as wide open as mine is at the moment is a little terrifying, but most of the time it is the most secure I've ever felt. I am sure that most of that is because of all of your prayers and support. And for this, again, I say thank you.

Here's some more pictures!

Mountain View on my Walk. They have a ton of trails for walking and biking around here. It's lovely.

This is my testimony jar. Any time God does anything I write it down. The intent is to read them every year on my birthday. At this rate I'm going to have to get a much bigger jar. A lot of it, because of you! :)

Doing work on Brenda's website has been my primary job so far. It is very much beyond my expertise but there have been many words so far about learning things at an accelerated rate. I'm trusting that those are for us as we are learning much in this season.

One of the many perks to living in California. There is no other burger place like this. You will never want to eat mcdonalds or wendys again. I've restrained and only made 1 late night run.

Yep, I'm the newest Target employee. So strange to think about. So blessed by a position that was in essence created for me, and for hours that are usually hard to get. God is GOOD.

Until next time, my friends! May He shower you with blessings and may you allow yourself to be overwhelmed by His love in a new and fresh way. 

-Lara-

ps...blog format change #1. I'm sure many more to come. :)

A few images from my life.

A few pictures of my new home:

Some friends walking with us on our walk.

Beautiful sunset over some mountains.

The Sundial Bridge-one of the landmarks here in Redding.

Fresh veggies from the VanWinkles 'winter' garden.

Beautiful waterfalls on our walk on Friday.

Whiskeytown Lake...amazing.

An instagram of the falls. Beautiful.

An amazing cloud on our walk to the falls. Amazing.

Hearing from God.

Hello once again from beautiful California! Not to rub it in to all of you newly snowed upon iowans, but the weather here is beautiful. I think it was mid to high 60s today with warm sunshine. Redding is kind of in a bowl surrounded by mountains with the greatest being Mt. Shasta and Mt. Lassen. It's gorgeous and I promise that some day soon when i have time to go exploring (which is something I do best) there will be many pictures. 
Time here has been lovely so far. I wish that I could adequately describe the feeling of the level of freedom I've been feeling. I've felt free in the past, but there's just something that happens when you step into exactly what God has for you in the right season. It's been proven over and over again throughout this process, so why would it surprise me at all to enter a place where it is hard to get a job and within 36 hours, have a job?
Yep. I got a job! :) As of right now, I have a temporary job at Target helping with a remodel. It's so, so perfect as we are not planning on traveling for a little while and I will need some money to live, and hopefully see my ministry expanded in whatever way that God wants to expand it. I'm ready to be able to do things without having to check my account and check with this world. I am excited to finally break out, and break free. Thank you God for this job and for your continued extravagance. :)


So I started this blog by titling "Hearing from God." Right now I'm reading Reinhart Bonnke's autobiography. If you don't know who Reinhart Bonnke look up anything about African revival or evangelism and His name is sure to pop up. He is one of the most inspiring people that is walking the face of this earth with a ministry so large that He has literally led millions to the Lord. I HIGHLY recommend His book but only if you are ready to get your life messed up a bit. It's completely wrecking me and I find that it's taking me a long time to read as I have to stop and process, cry, laugh and reread almost every other page. (usually i read quite fast).


ANYWAYS. (focus Lara!) This quote is what I wanted to share:
"Above all, we are called to hear and obey the still small voice of our heavenly Father communicated to our hearts by the Holy Ghost. But if other voices are placed above that voice we may come to to doubt the very voice of God Himself, even after we have heard Him clearly."


As I've entered this new season I've begun to take a good long look on all of the times I've missed it. Not in a way that is degrading or judgmental on myself but as a preventative action so that I don't miss it again. I think about all of the times that I haven't done something that I feel the Lord is telling me to do for the sake of 'not wanting to do anything without knowing it's Him.' I wonder how many times people have done that and missed a huge blessing or even worse prevented someone else to receive a huge blessing through them! 


God's been talking to me a lot about being willing (I'm sure I'll write more later). About how it's not always about knowing and having the exact direction line by line but about having a willing, humble and pure heart. When you have those things, He's attracted to it and you will actually attract the blessing of the Lord. But it's just like Brother Bonnke says, what value are we putting on God's voice? If we first have to run what we think we heard God say through the 'voice of reason' then we do not have the right priorities. If we're not willing to drop everything and do what He says, why will He think we're able to handle more of anything, especially blessing? We have to stop using the excuse of wanting to make sure that we got it all 'right' before we do anything. 


Humility
Willingness
A Pure Heart


If these are the things that we long for, the things that we strive to live in and with, then we can trust that still, small voice as the 'right thing' automatically. I hope this encourages something. He so wants to give us the desires of our hearts, especially if our desires are His desires. 

Greetings from Sunny California! :)

I have arrived!
It's so good to be home. From the beautiful weather (I'm currently sitting outside writing) to the mountain views I think this is a place I could get used to. I love it here already and I've barely experienced anything! As a veggie lover I am amazed at Jim and Brenda's 'winter' gardens and the amount of produce in the grocery stores here. I was even amazed that California has produce that is actually cheaper than in iowa, and with a lot more variety. 


I'm settling in very well, though there are parts of me that have not yet come to terms with the fact that this is all really happening. God has been so in this that there has hardly been any time to stop and worry about anything and for that I am extremely grateful.


There are moments, though where I suddenly get that sinking feeling in my stomach of not knowing where anything is and the feeling of being forced out of my comfort zone into new situations...specifically the social variety. Oh, how i wish i were a social butterfly at times. I am thankful that God has been teaching me more and more to be comfortable in my own skin. And I am super happy He made me perfectly content to just sit and read a book at times. And while being with new people isn't always the most comfortable thing for me, I know that this a new page of my life. I get to be simply me, and that's enough...that's all He ever asks of us. 


I didn't really write for any huge reason, just to say hi from my new home. And also to ask for prayer. Tomorrow morning at 9:00 I have an interview for a job. I'm praying for favor and also rejoicing for the opportunity. I've come to understand that it's very hard to get a job here and for me to be asked in the day after I arrive has God written all over it! I'm praying that I get hired as this money would be very handy for the day I start paying rent! :) 


Thanks and love you all!
-L-

The Little Engine that Could.

I don't know that traveling is ever 'normal' but today was just about the furthest away from normal that you could get. 


From standing in line behind a bunch of ice surfing bums from Kentucky at Subway, to staying in a hotel attached to a casino because literally every hotel in Nevada is attached to a casino. From 2 stations available on the radio to thinking I saw a kangaroo jump out of the bushes somewhere in the middle of Wyoming. 


It was a fun day to say the least. Final mileage count for today: 747. 
I want to give props to my car. With 182,000+ miles She's been so good to me. Today though, I found out that She really does not like mountains. I feel like my foot was on the floor of my car all day today, in fact, I have a blister on my toe to prove it. I frequently felt myself thinking, "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can." :) I am so grateful once again today for the amazing weather. Every time I would pass a 'chain tires required when flashing' sign that wasn't flashing I would rejoice and praise God even more. Especially when I got into Nevada where there are hardly any places to stop if there would be weather.


And once again, I am overwhelmed by His grace on this trip. Not only with weather but with safety and peace. Tonight I got pulled over because my back tail light isn't working properly. The cop that pulled me over started to make polite conversation with me as He read over my license. Come to find out, He lived in Redding for an extended amount of time...Hmmm, interesting. After wishing me luck, I was again on my way amazed at God's goodness and His little, fun confirmations along the way.


And again, for the 2nd night in a row, I was given a discount at my amazingly nice hotel. This one a little more expensive, but I feel incredibly safe which was much more important. 


6 hours now lie between me and the next stage of my life. Anticipation just continues to build and build. I'm loving this journey, but I will love the destination even more.
-L-

Somewhere in Wyoming

The Great Salt Lakes...beautiful in the winter.

Only in Utah. Makes you feel like you're driving in the middle of a lake, eh?

The excitement of God, and the Extravagance of His people...

Good evening all! I am one day closer to California. Today's tally: 819 miles. Another 17ish hours and I will be 'home sweet home.' As it is January I am happy to announce that today was uneventful. I had about 40 miles of light snow somewhere in the abyss that is Nebraska. Other than that the only other snow I saw at all was on the cliffs and rocks of Wyoming as I headed into Laramie where I am currently stopped for the night.


I really wrote to give an update on some of the amazing things God has done. Recently I had shared that I wasn't quite where I was wanting to be financially. Usually something like this would bother me a bit as I like to at least have some sort of a plan. For some reason though, God would not allow me to worry at all. I kept hearing Him say, 'just hold on lara, it's coming.' Well. That was Thursday morning.


Thursday evening I had a visitor who just wanted to give a little so I would choose the nicer hotels on my trip. I am certainly taking advantage of that tonight. Which, I might add...I am at a nice hotel and they gave it to me half price!! :)


Friday morning, I was literally woken up by another blessing waltzing into my room. Handing me money, squeezing my neck and waltzing out before I could even rub the sleep out of my eyes. 


And as if that wasn't enough, God sealed in His promise with a donation in the afternoon that left me breathless, and crying in public like a little baby. I now have enough to open an account to start saving for when I need to get my own place. 


He knows exactly what we need. I had put out in front of Him how much I wanted to feel 'comfortable' and He is answering it in His timing. Every time someone gives I feel His excitement. Not just on my life, but more so on the lives of the people who are giving. Whenever someone gives extravagantly the first thing that comes to my mind is, 'I know who their God is.' 'They trust Him and they know just how extravagant His love is for them.' I can feel God's excitement at their faithfulness, their trust, and their willingness to invest. 


You will never know the difference something can make in someone's life if you never give it. I'm thankful to be around people who know whos they are and know that what they have is His. That's the way I always long to live my life. With my hands wide open. To be the extravagance to someone that ignites something in them that makes them never the same. 


From the depths of my heart for those that have given financially and emotionally, and however else you've given. THANK YOU! My life will never be the same. 


ps...you're more than welcome to barge into my room any time. Do what God tells you too! :)


Some images from today:

On the road again:

Am I the only one who finds these creepy?

First time eating Runza:

I ate my weight in cheese.

Tune in tomorrow for Day 2!

Counting the Cost.

I apologize for going MIA on you there for awhile. I've been spending some much needed time with my family since last Wednesday in Indiana. Normally I would say that the phrase 'parting is such sweet sorrow' is just silly. Parting certainly never feels sweet when it's from the ones that you love. But I think I understand it more now. Yes, it was certainly hard to say goodbye to those that I love as I begin this new journey west into a life that is pretty unknown. There were many tears shed. But I am beginning to see the sweet part as I am back home and packing my bags. I get to walk into a whole new part of my life. I get to experience new things in a new place in a new season.
And yet I now understand why Jesus talked about counting the costs of being a disciple. While I don't think I'll never see my family again, I recognize that if God asked me to go to the ends of the earth I would go. I have counted the cost, and I have weighed everything I know as 'normal' in life, and I would trade them all if I was asked. And while that has the potential to bring great sorrow and discomfort in my life I see now that the sweetness of following Christ into whatever He asks is much greater. If I have Christ, I have everything. 
So yes, I am walking into a new part of my life. And true, I don't have all of the funding I would like, or all of the details worked out the way I usually do. But I do have Christ, and I do have what I need and that is enough. I am not leaving this season just to leave. I'm not going just to go. But I am stepping into my next phase of life. I always want and long to follow wherever He's going. And as soon as something other than Him is stopping me, I pray that I will honestly be able to stop and honestly assess what's going on, and count the costs once more. Because I know He will always be worth it. 


He's SO worth it. 
I pray that He's so worth it for you too.


For prayer purposes! I leave THIS SATURDAY! I cannot believe that it's already here. It just doesn't seem realistic. I'm slowly coming to terms with it. Continue to check in as I'll be updating from the road...pictures and such. Please continue to pray for connections as I get to Redding, along the road, etc. Also for finances to continue to fall into place not only in my life but the ministries! :) Love you all.


-Lara-